[Shrek] Excuse Me, But You're In Everyone's Way

Fiona and I went shopping yesterday, making sure to run our errands early before most people's working days have ended and while school is still in session. We prefer to do this because the odds of running into an absolutely clueless person rises exponentially as more people are in the store.

We all know one of the types of clueless person I'm talking about; the one that walks their cart at a snail's pace down the middle of the aisle stopping to study every product even though they have no intention of buying it, making sure to block the progress of everyone behind them as they go from side to side.

You'd think after the 20th person says "excuse me" they'd get the hint they're in the way and maybe should pick a side for their cart, but they won't let anyone ruin that great shopping experience for them.

Or better yet, two friends walking side by side each with their own carts. Add kids or cell phones to the mix and you've got yourself a party.

Another one that gets me is the person going against the flow. Did you not notice that everyone is moving in one direction and you're going in another? Inevitably that person will stop their cart right next to another stopped cart, blocking the aisle in both directions.

And for the folks that don't know this, when the express lane says "10 items or less" or something similar, it doesn't mean your 12 bottles of Pepsi count as one item because it's all the same...IT COUNTS AS 12 ITEMS! The worst offenders of this are the people that buy huge amounts of greeting cards at BJs and go to the express lane because "they're just greeting cards". Yeah, but you got 50 of them. Get your ass in the regular line.

And speaking of BJs, one of the things I like to do when I'm their is browse the table of new books that they have. Why do people feel the need to push their cart right up to the table so no one else can get in to take a look? And why do people do that at the deli too? Are they afraid someone will come by and take stuff out of their cart so they must protect it as if their very lives depended on it?

My time isn't any more valuable than anyone else's. It's also not any less valuable. How about exercising a little courtesy and take up a little less space so folks can go about their business?

There's plenty of room for everyone provided no one takes more than their share.

[Shrek] A hero turns 60

The greatest hockey player ever, Robert Gordon "Bobby" Orr, turned 60 on Friday. It seems like just yesterday that he was on the ice making opponents look like fools. Unfortunately numerous knee surgeries robbed fans of what was sure to be many more years of fantastic play. For those that didn't get to see his greatness first hand there is luckily lots of video.

There is a debate, lead by folks that don't know any better, about who was better: Wayne Gretzky or Bobby Orr. True hockey fans know that Bobby Orr could stop Gretzky from scoring, but there's no way on his best day that that Gretzky could stop Orr.

No one could.





Happy belated birthday Bobby...and here's to many more.

[Fiona] Jelly Beans, Jelly Beans!!!!

Today is Easter! He is risen and there are jelly beans and chocolate rabbits everywhere. I am one of those people who just doesn't understand how a religious moment becomes a commercial. Don't get me wrong I used to enjoy the candy commercial part of this holiday. I just don't understand how both became entwined. I will not pretend that I am well versed in either tradition because I am a nonpracticing Catholic and I do not actively involve myself in holidays.Shrek and I have no wee ones and we are both too grown up for the childlike excitement about candy and gifts,most of the time anyway!

The reason I bring this up? I was over my galpal's last evening. I helped her and her kiddies color eggs. I had fun but what struck me was when her daughter asked why Jesus needed colored eggs? Did it make his egg salad taste better? With the way my brain works, the wheels began to turn. My galpal Jadi is amazing. After the kiddos were securely in bed she pulled all this magical stuff from boxes and bags and assembled each of her children a unique and personal basket of his/her very own. It made me miss the bunny part of my holiday of days gone passed.

In my opinion, for most children waking up on Easter it is not about Jesus rising from the dead. It is about candy and egg hunts and new clothes. It is about going to the grandparents and other relatives for family time and food.

The world is such a commercial place anyway. Hello advertisers? Hello religious leaders? Why can't there be an Easter and an easter? Two separated days, one for Jesus and religious tradition and the other one for the jelly beans and chocolate bunnies. We could do the same thing for Christmas. Win win for everyone invloved. That way children and perhaps parents could finally learn that one has very little to do with the other and more might learn what the real holidays are about. The upside? More time off people!

Happy Easter!

[Fiona] The Opener

The world is made up of all kinds of people. Tall people, fat people, butt ugly...you get my drift. Some women shop, some women gossip, some women bitch and so on. In my lifetime I have been those other types of gal...oh the shopping sprees I have been on and though I hate to say it I gossip (doesn't everyone on some level?) and yes I can bitch with the best of them, just ask Shrek. What I am here to tell you is that I am an opener. That's right I like to open stuff. It matters not to me if it needs to be opened or not. I want to be the one who unwraps the box, or tears open the envelope, cuts the plastic wrap...sets it free. I have no idea why but it makes me so happy!

I feel like Charlie inside that chocolate factory unraveling the mysteries if only I can get to the nougat center. Shrek hates my opening obsession. If I can't open something I become like a little kid. I fidget, I whine, I get anxious. Shrek will tell me to relax that he'll get to it sooner or later. Oh no he won't. I swear he procrastinates over opening his packages, gifts,mail on purpose because he knows how antsy I become. I actually can feel my anger beginning to brim over the top as I sit and wait and wait and wait.

I have to admit that I will not wait for long. I just get to a point and then I open what I need to open. Shrek be damned!! He will get over being mad...Funny thing is that most times as soon as I get said item open I don't really care what is inside, or it doesn't belong to me, or I don't know how to use the item and Shrek needs to take over the lead position. My job afterall is finished I opened it didn't I?

[Shrek] The reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated

Between writing for Sharkspage, getting ready for TotalCon, getting sick (not once, but twice), and just generally being busy, I finally have a few minutes to make a new post. Of course, it literally is just a few minutes, so this won't be very thought provoking and in all probability won't be very long.

On Monday something amusing happened just before bowling. I was looking at the schedule to see who and where I was bowling when another bowler nicknamed "Fitzie" came over to see who he was bowling. He asked me the date. All I could do was look at him in awe. After a few moments I managed to get out "Hey Fitzie, what date do you think it is?" He started at me blankly for a moment or two, smacked himself in the head and laughed, and walked away.

You'd have thought a guy named Fitzgerald would have the date of St. Patrick's Day committed to memory.

Another story...a few Saturdays ago Fiona and I, along with a busload of Worcester Sharks boosters, went to Albany to see the Sharks play. We've been there before, and have a favorite pub we like to go to right across from the arena. Well, in the month between visits there the pub had changed hands and was now a "fine dining" restaurant.

I think the next time we go to Albany it will have changed hands again as the menu was pretty pathetic for a place directly across from an arena. Plus the fact that the waitress screwed up my and Josie's beer order isn't a good sign either. We both ordered a Bass draught, and the waitress brought over Sam's Winter. Not even close to the same thing.

So we bailed out of there and to a place attached to the Times Union Center whose name I don't remember. The place is pretty full of River Rats fans, so we get the "evil eye" as we walked in. We found a table and one of the friendlies waitresses I have ever seen came over and welcomed us and gave us the "lay of the land" as it was.

As were were enjoying our drinks a guy walked up to us because we were wearing Sharks gear and talked to us for a good ten minutes or more about the the trip from Worcester and how it was his first AHL game in many years. The conversation went from sports to our respective cites and everything in between. It was like the old days when people could sit at a bar and have a drink or two and folks would find something in common to talk about for the few moments their lives interacted with each other.

It's stuff like that helps restore your faith in humanity.

I'm currently reading Sue Grafton's series (A is for Alibi; B is for Burglar, etc...). The first couple are pretty bad, but they get better quickly. My goal was to get caught up to her latest book by the end of February. I failed, mostly due to a lack of time. I just started L is for Lawless. Maybe I'll get to them all by summer.

For those with HBO, check out the John Adams miniseries. It airs on Sunday nights, and the first two have already aired so look for them "on demand". It's the best thing on TV in a long time, and now I wished I had DVR'd them all before watching the first two. The wait for number three is killing me.

Patience has never been something I was good at.

[Fiona] Will It Ever End??? ...

that is to say winter. Oh lordie I am so over with this winter. I feel like I am going to lose my shit today. I had to go to work this morning. I awoke to rain and wind and flurries! No more with the snow, enough already!!!! Spring gods where are you?
I long for warmer days and sunshine. Colors of green and gold and purple will fill the world.I wonder if anyone has ever figured out why a New England winter has to be so damned grey. I am running out of patience. I thought that by now I would be tooling around town sans outerwear or maybe I could get away with wearing a light jacket. I want to be able to put on sandals and shorts and go to a baseball game. Since I am on a rant; how nice would it be to just go for a stroll without boots,hat,mittens,scarf,heavy coat. My mother used to get melancholy over Spring's arrival and I thought she was weird. I would kill to see a crocus right now! Or as my mom would say just one dumb daffodil! Just maybe mom wasn't so weird afterall.