OK I have finally calmed down enough to post this rant. What the cheese, people? Traffic lights still apply during a snow storm! Traffic should move in a forward direction cautiously and when the light changes: STOP! ! ! and calmly wait for your FUCKIN' TURN ! I left my place of employment today 45 minutes early because the inches where collecting rather rapidly. On an average day I live 10-15 minutes away. Today it took Shrek and I approximately 90 minutes to go the same distance. It was not all the weather's fault.
It never ceases to amaze me that the Average Joe thinks he is so much more important than the next guy. Listen up Ass! Yes, I mean you and you know who you are. Mr.Tough Guy, who is trying to push his girlfriend's stalled car at a busy intersection. In a storm we are all the same UNLESS you are driving a firetruck, an ambulance, a police vehicle or a plow. Just in case nobody ever told you; it is ILLEGAL to push a car with another car not to mention how brainless and dangerous it is. Here's an idea; buy your BITCH a good car. I noticed you were driving a tricked out SUV while she was driving some piece-or-shit leftover from the 80's. Here's another idea: AAA and a cell phone, for her. That way the next time she breaks down and it will happen( seeing she drives that beauty)she won't have to be embarrassed by your asinine behavior.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Sunday, December 9, 2007
[Shrek & Fiona] Holiday Message
As we are now in the holiday season, please accept our heartfelt holiday greeting:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Any and all applicable taxes that arise from accepting this greeting are the sole responsibility of the wishee.
Yours neutrally,
Shrek & Fiona
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Any and all applicable taxes that arise from accepting this greeting are the sole responsibility of the wishee.
Yours neutrally,
Shrek & Fiona
Sunday, November 25, 2007
[Fiona] Ho ! Ho ! Ho !
Do not think this about Christmas my friends for you are sadly mistaken. This is merely commentary to an event I witnessed on Southbridge Street last night. Dear Shrek and I attended an AHL hockey game at the DCU Center. The Worcester Sharks hosted the Providence Bruins. Good game. Fun for everyone but sadly, we lost.
A friend of ours met us at the game. We graciously offered to drive him homeward after the evenings festivities came to a halt. Well, being the "super organized femme fatale" that I am, I let my vehicle's gasoline reserves reach near empty proportions. After we were all comfortably seated in the car, I suggested to Shrek that we find an open pumping station. If I had only known...
From the DCU Center the best way to get to Route 290 West towards Auburn is via Southbridge Street in Worcester. Along Southbridge Street there are many abandoned businesses and a rail yard. It is not one of the nicest neighborhoods on a good day. It does, however; have a 24 hour Gulf gas station. The three of us pooled our money. With the impending hour looming near 11 pm, I sent Shrek into the station to secure $11 of gas from the Gas Gods.
Our friend,Skip,is an older guy in his early sixties. Shrek and I are barely into our forties. He's seen a little more of life than we have. Imagine my surprise when he was shocked to see a car loaded up with the usual "garden variety" whores. I know it wasn't that they were whores. It was more like; there's a gaggle of them and they are using this gas station as a "pump and go".
While Skip and I waited for Shrek to reappear from the depths of the store we watched as these "ladies" primped and strutted. One spent her time brushing her teeth (perhaps fresh breath masks just how much dick you've had). Skip's exact words,"I thought I had seen everything!"
Before our departure from this Port of Sin, Shrek reveled us with his first hand encounter within the confines of the store. Apparently a few of the ladies in front of him purchased enough condoms to satisfy the male population of local the naval academy.
After we had nourished our car with life giving fluids we drove off, leaving the ladies to their nasty business. Our stop at this station left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Perhaps, I should have asked to borrow a toothbrush and some paste.
A friend of ours met us at the game. We graciously offered to drive him homeward after the evenings festivities came to a halt. Well, being the "super organized femme fatale" that I am, I let my vehicle's gasoline reserves reach near empty proportions. After we were all comfortably seated in the car, I suggested to Shrek that we find an open pumping station. If I had only known...
From the DCU Center the best way to get to Route 290 West towards Auburn is via Southbridge Street in Worcester. Along Southbridge Street there are many abandoned businesses and a rail yard. It is not one of the nicest neighborhoods on a good day. It does, however; have a 24 hour Gulf gas station. The three of us pooled our money. With the impending hour looming near 11 pm, I sent Shrek into the station to secure $11 of gas from the Gas Gods.
Our friend,Skip,is an older guy in his early sixties. Shrek and I are barely into our forties. He's seen a little more of life than we have. Imagine my surprise when he was shocked to see a car loaded up with the usual "garden variety" whores. I know it wasn't that they were whores. It was more like; there's a gaggle of them and they are using this gas station as a "pump and go".
While Skip and I waited for Shrek to reappear from the depths of the store we watched as these "ladies" primped and strutted. One spent her time brushing her teeth (perhaps fresh breath masks just how much dick you've had). Skip's exact words,"I thought I had seen everything!"
Before our departure from this Port of Sin, Shrek reveled us with his first hand encounter within the confines of the store. Apparently a few of the ladies in front of him purchased enough condoms to satisfy the male population of local the naval academy.
After we had nourished our car with life giving fluids we drove off, leaving the ladies to their nasty business. Our stop at this station left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Perhaps, I should have asked to borrow a toothbrush and some paste.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
[Fiona] Turkey Coma
OMG! Today Shrek and I hosted not one but two Thanksgiving dinners. I am so sleepy. The manufacturers of sleeping agents really should do some research into the turkey induced coma. I am sure that the pies and other assorted weight bearing heavy cream filled goodies help fuel that bogged down I need a nap feeling but I am not sure. As the readers of this blog know I am WW member and so holidays are risky for me.
I did the best I could and I made sure to stop and think between courses. I ate the family recipe. A funked out bread and hamburg stuffing that has been poked and improved over the years. A personal favorite of mine. I peeled and cooked 10 lbs of potatoes and 4 gi-normous squash. My arms hurt. I burnt my thumbs holding turkey thighs as I cut meat into manageable slabs and I was happy. Happy that my sister made it from NY. Happy that my step-daughter and her little girl came. Happy that at end of this very long day I had not ONE dessert. Happy that I survived Thanksgiving.
I did the best I could and I made sure to stop and think between courses. I ate the family recipe. A funked out bread and hamburg stuffing that has been poked and improved over the years. A personal favorite of mine. I peeled and cooked 10 lbs of potatoes and 4 gi-normous squash. My arms hurt. I burnt my thumbs holding turkey thighs as I cut meat into manageable slabs and I was happy. Happy that my sister made it from NY. Happy that my step-daughter and her little girl came. Happy that at end of this very long day I had not ONE dessert. Happy that I survived Thanksgiving.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
[Shrek] A Few Words About Words
I am addicted to books.
I am not ashamed to admit it, nor do I plan on doing anything to stop this addiction. I also think an intervention is unlikely as Fiona is also addicted, so at least for now I can live my life without worry of friends telling me to stop reading.
One thing that does bother me is book publishes taking advantage of us book addicted folks.
I understand that it costs a lot of money to publish a book, and while I cringe when I plop down $7.99 for a book that can't be found at the many discount retailers, I get the concept that without paying that much no one along the chain of writer-publisher-seller makes money, meaning that less books would be produced.
While I'd like the price to go back to the $2.95 it was when I started buying books, I'm not looking for them to drop the price. I get that the folks involved have to pay rent and eat just like everyone else. I do not begrudge anyone from making a little money while the book passes through their "step" in the chain.
But someone needs to tell me why the new paperback format costs $9.95.
Let me get this straight--only the print is larger, not the actual length of the book? And to accommodate this larger print you've made the pages bigger and spread the text over more pages? And for this you're charging me an extra $2?
Huh?
Case in point, the two books I'm reading now: Memorial Day by Vince Flynn, and Kushiel's Scion by Jacqueline Carey (no, not that Jacqueline Carey, the one that's a fantasy writer). Both are writers that I'd have no problem calling their previous works "great".
Memorial Day is in the new, larger format and font, and is 564 pages not including the preview if his next novel...$9.95 cover price.
Kushiel's Scion is in the standard format, and is 943 pages not including the preview of her next novel...$7.99 cover price.
Two bucks for less stuff? Huh?
Obviously the price didn't bother me that much as I purchased them both. What it really results in is now I'll be reluctant to try new writers when I see their stuff while browsing. Other folks I know have said the same thing.
That means, at least in theory, that people along the chain in the book selling profession will end up making less money. And in an economy where entertainment money is hard to come by for many folks, that could be another nail in the coffin for the book publishing industry.
Thank God for used book stores...there's lots of new authors I can try at half-cover price.
I am not ashamed to admit it, nor do I plan on doing anything to stop this addiction. I also think an intervention is unlikely as Fiona is also addicted, so at least for now I can live my life without worry of friends telling me to stop reading.
One thing that does bother me is book publishes taking advantage of us book addicted folks.
I understand that it costs a lot of money to publish a book, and while I cringe when I plop down $7.99 for a book that can't be found at the many discount retailers, I get the concept that without paying that much no one along the chain of writer-publisher-seller makes money, meaning that less books would be produced.
While I'd like the price to go back to the $2.95 it was when I started buying books, I'm not looking for them to drop the price. I get that the folks involved have to pay rent and eat just like everyone else. I do not begrudge anyone from making a little money while the book passes through their "step" in the chain.
But someone needs to tell me why the new paperback format costs $9.95.
Let me get this straight--only the print is larger, not the actual length of the book? And to accommodate this larger print you've made the pages bigger and spread the text over more pages? And for this you're charging me an extra $2?
Huh?
Case in point, the two books I'm reading now: Memorial Day by Vince Flynn, and Kushiel's Scion by Jacqueline Carey (no, not that Jacqueline Carey, the one that's a fantasy writer). Both are writers that I'd have no problem calling their previous works "great".
Memorial Day is in the new, larger format and font, and is 564 pages not including the preview if his next novel...$9.95 cover price.
Kushiel's Scion is in the standard format, and is 943 pages not including the preview of her next novel...$7.99 cover price.
Two bucks for less stuff? Huh?
Obviously the price didn't bother me that much as I purchased them both. What it really results in is now I'll be reluctant to try new writers when I see their stuff while browsing. Other folks I know have said the same thing.
That means, at least in theory, that people along the chain in the book selling profession will end up making less money. And in an economy where entertainment money is hard to come by for many folks, that could be another nail in the coffin for the book publishing industry.
Thank God for used book stores...there's lots of new authors I can try at half-cover price.
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