that is to say winter. Oh lordie I am so over with this winter. I feel like I am going to lose my shit today. I had to go to work this morning. I awoke to rain and wind and flurries! No more with the snow, enough already!!!! Spring gods where are you?
I long for warmer days and sunshine. Colors of green and gold and purple will fill the world.I wonder if anyone has ever figured out why a New England winter has to be so damned grey. I am running out of patience. I thought that by now I would be tooling around town sans outerwear or maybe I could get away with wearing a light jacket. I want to be able to put on sandals and shorts and go to a baseball game. Since I am on a rant; how nice would it be to just go for a stroll without boots,hat,mittens,scarf,heavy coat. My mother used to get melancholy over Spring's arrival and I thought she was weird. I would kill to see a crocus right now! Or as my mom would say just one dumb daffodil! Just maybe mom wasn't so weird afterall.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
[Fiona] SNOW DAY! STORM DAY!
Shrek and I called out of work today. It is not something that I am ever overly proud about. However, I am on the oldish side and no longer find winter weather,i.e,storms to be fun or exciting. My bones are old and thus I wish to keep them in one piece and not several little shattered fragments. I used to be adventurous. So much so that Shrek would often say that I needed to learn my limits and live within those limits. A sentiment I hated to hear.
A few years ago I broke my leg in a fall on ice. Not fun at all. It cured my winter wonderland enthusiasm. I call out of work for crappy weather. Life is to short. I am not a surgeon or lawyer or other important must go to work profession. I work in retail.
A few years ago I broke my leg in a fall on ice. Not fun at all. It cured my winter wonderland enthusiasm. I call out of work for crappy weather. Life is to short. I am not a surgeon or lawyer or other important must go to work profession. I work in retail.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
[Fiona] The Subject of Tomorrow
It used to be that I couldn't wait for tomorrow. The close of each day meant a new beginning...tomorrow. Tomorrow always brought me hope one more chance to get things right; my diet, my checkbook, my love life. I used to take tomorrow for granted. It will always be there, tomorrow. How could I have been so wrong?
All of my tomorrows changed May 15, 2004 with the passing of my kid sister. We had been through hell and back, her and I. Survivors, best friends, and sisters. We lived our lives in the best way we knew how. Thinking back there were days, memories now, we tried like hell to hold on to…that first kiss from a boy, Christmas mornings, birthdays…now only my secrets, my lies, and my truths remain. We can’t share “remember when” anymore. I wait for tomorrow uncertain of what awaits. Gone is that level of nervous excitement, replaced with the knowledge that all of my tomorrows are mirrored repeats of the days gone by since she passed.
How does a lifetime disappear in the flash of a moment? What were her last thoughts? Questions that can never be answered haunt me. We had just spoken at 5:40 p.m. the night before, how could she be dead? It just couldn’t be true. I awaken. It is still dark enough in my room that for a moment I am not sure I am alone. In my haze I call out, “Breny?” There will be no answer and that makes me sad. My pillow is wet from the tears I shed in my sleep. Quietly I slip out of bed and make my way into the darkness of the living room. Another night I don’t sleep. Sadness, tears, and memories keep me from sleeping.
She arrived February 6, 1967, and I was sure she belonged to me. How wonderful of my parents to have brought me a kid sister to play with! I don’t think I can remember a time when she wasn’t with me. I was the big sister. I took my job seriously. I taught her to read and write before she was in kindergarten. I protected her from school bullies. I taught her to ride a bike, climb trees, bake a cake, and play jacks.
She was the Ying to my Yang. We helped each other to survive childhood. We were more than sisters; we were friends. Breny used to say, “sisters by birth, friends by choice.” I often find myself wondering if she knows how much I miss her. I plod along, I try to find my way without her, and often I am afraid. My life will never be the same.
Tomorrow is her birthday...
All of my tomorrows changed May 15, 2004 with the passing of my kid sister. We had been through hell and back, her and I. Survivors, best friends, and sisters. We lived our lives in the best way we knew how. Thinking back there were days, memories now, we tried like hell to hold on to…that first kiss from a boy, Christmas mornings, birthdays…now only my secrets, my lies, and my truths remain. We can’t share “remember when” anymore. I wait for tomorrow uncertain of what awaits. Gone is that level of nervous excitement, replaced with the knowledge that all of my tomorrows are mirrored repeats of the days gone by since she passed.
How does a lifetime disappear in the flash of a moment? What were her last thoughts? Questions that can never be answered haunt me. We had just spoken at 5:40 p.m. the night before, how could she be dead? It just couldn’t be true. I awaken. It is still dark enough in my room that for a moment I am not sure I am alone. In my haze I call out, “Breny?” There will be no answer and that makes me sad. My pillow is wet from the tears I shed in my sleep. Quietly I slip out of bed and make my way into the darkness of the living room. Another night I don’t sleep. Sadness, tears, and memories keep me from sleeping.
She arrived February 6, 1967, and I was sure she belonged to me. How wonderful of my parents to have brought me a kid sister to play with! I don’t think I can remember a time when she wasn’t with me. I was the big sister. I took my job seriously. I taught her to read and write before she was in kindergarten. I protected her from school bullies. I taught her to ride a bike, climb trees, bake a cake, and play jacks.
She was the Ying to my Yang. We helped each other to survive childhood. We were more than sisters; we were friends. Breny used to say, “sisters by birth, friends by choice.” I often find myself wondering if she knows how much I miss her. I plod along, I try to find my way without her, and often I am afraid. My life will never be the same.
Tomorrow is her birthday...
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
[Fiona] Nothing to Say ?
I opened my blog tonight with the intention of writing a great masterpiece...but it is not to be. I have writers' block. I have neglected this site since Christmas Eve. I thought that something amusing or moving might happen and it would give me something to wax poetic over. Wrong.
Shrek and I have returned to work. There's nothing quite like work to dampen a good time. This could very well explain my loss for words. Shrek and I work for a major retailer. Every year after Christmas it gets very S-L-O-W at work. Plenty of clean the facility and other stupid earn-your-paycheck type crap jobs to do. It is my least favorite time of year. I yearn for Spring.
Well on the up and coming...at the end of February Shrek and I will be going to his annual gaming convention. He games with friends all weekend while I go shopping with my girlfriends. A perfect time for all. I am really looking forward to going this year.
Shrek and I have returned to work. There's nothing quite like work to dampen a good time. This could very well explain my loss for words. Shrek and I work for a major retailer. Every year after Christmas it gets very S-L-O-W at work. Plenty of clean the facility and other stupid earn-your-paycheck type crap jobs to do. It is my least favorite time of year. I yearn for Spring.
Well on the up and coming...at the end of February Shrek and I will be going to his annual gaming convention. He games with friends all weekend while I go shopping with my girlfriends. A perfect time for all. I am really looking forward to going this year.
Monday, December 24, 2007
[Fiona] A Little Love
It is Christmas Eve. Shrek and I ventured out earlier and brought home Chinese food. A tradition his mom started a few years ago. I actually look forward to it every year. I even saved points just for tonight. I am sure I ate more than I allowed myself but life goes on...
For the entirety of our marriage I have never been able to surprise Shrek.Tonight that changes. I bought him a Christmas gift. One I put extra thought into. I even managed to hide it in a place he would never look. I think he is just skilled at reading other people and would probably make a good judge, or cop, or poker player.
While we buy Christmas gifts for the people in our lives we never get gifts for each other as we both believe that love should be celebrated everyday not just once a year with a pretty box and a bow.
This year is different. Shrek, whom I love more than mere words can express, deserves to have a wonderful Christmas. So much has changed and happened to us this year that I just wanted to show him how much I really do love him. Shrek stands by me in sickness and in health. He loves me in the rain and wind. He loves me thick or thin. He is a one-in-a million and I am fortunate to love him and be loved by him.
Merry Christmas Shrek...I LOVE YOU
For the entirety of our marriage I have never been able to surprise Shrek.Tonight that changes. I bought him a Christmas gift. One I put extra thought into. I even managed to hide it in a place he would never look. I think he is just skilled at reading other people and would probably make a good judge, or cop, or poker player.
While we buy Christmas gifts for the people in our lives we never get gifts for each other as we both believe that love should be celebrated everyday not just once a year with a pretty box and a bow.
This year is different. Shrek, whom I love more than mere words can express, deserves to have a wonderful Christmas. So much has changed and happened to us this year that I just wanted to show him how much I really do love him. Shrek stands by me in sickness and in health. He loves me in the rain and wind. He loves me thick or thin. He is a one-in-a million and I am fortunate to love him and be loved by him.
Merry Christmas Shrek...I LOVE YOU
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