[Fiona] It's Always Something

One morning just recently I found myself perched precariously close to the floor in my bedroom. Mind you, I was sitting on my bed at the time, when I was suddenly and quite unexpectedly rocked forward by a loud crack and an awful shudder. To my disgust and horror our bed had expired. I say expire because it had been suffering horribly of late and Shrek and I knew it would only be a matter of time 'til the old gal just wouldn't have it any more and just...

In the famous words of Gilda Radner, "It's always something." After Shrek came and rescued me from the mass that once stood as our bed we had the "talk". The talk of unbelieveability is what I call it. "Can you believe this?" "Why today?" "This is just unbelieveable!" Imagine if the bed could talk. She would say something along the lines of,"Yes, believe it. I have been waiting for over two years to retire. I gave you ample warning of my intentions; I was ignored by both of you equally. Well, now I am beyond tired so I am done!" She gave out one last cry and was no more.

Now the only problem that remained was getting a new bed. To the ordinary human this would be a no-brainer but not for the Shrek and I, we simply had no idea. How sad is it to be mattress illiterate? I did the only thing a gal can do in this situation, I turned to the internet. Someone really should run a "how to" site for stuff that nobody knows how to. You know like how to buy a good quality mattress without getting ripped off and things of that nature that most people have NO CLUE about. I read everything I could find on the internet and was no more confident with the new info I possessed.

Shrek and I have been left to our own devices. What to do? Is it just me or does everyone have to face the fact that the tax return that they've waited all year for seems to get spent even before you get it in the mail? Damn...