[Shrek] A Not So Positive Post

I think all the snow is starting to irk me a little, so while I'm in a bad mood allow me to mention a few people that have raised my ire the last few days.

The douchebag driving the Pontiac Aztek who pulled out in front of Fiona and I Tuesday morning on the snow covered roads. Good thing you fishtailed in front of us because if you hadn't we would have plowed right into the back of you. I'm sure the Honda Accord in the oncoming lane that nearly drove into that snowbank was happy to see you too.

And speaking of Tuesday morning, the meteorologists who called for "a dusting to an inch" that morning that turned into 3" to 5" made me wish I could screw up as often as they do and still keep my job.

Continuing on the subject of snow, I'd like give a shout out to how well the city of Worcester has cleared the roads after all this snow we had in the last 30 days or so. And by "how well" I mean "could you possibly have done a worse job?". A word of warning to people heading to the city, if you park at a meter and can't get to it to put money in the "parking enforcement officers" will still ticket you.

Even more on snow, why does the city of Worcester demand people shovel the sidewalks that abut their property (and for folks that live on Meadow Lane, sidewalks that used to abut their property) but the city doesn't clear crosswalks and handicap ramps from snow? There's also miles of unshoveled sidewalk abutted by city property.

I'd also like to mention that one of the biggest morons in morning talk radio, whose name I refuse to mention because he's such a jerk, got one of the nicest guys I have ever met fired and replaced him with someone that is nothing more than a parrot. I guess I should be a little happy for SW (full name withheld, but most will know who he is) because he no longer has to work for that train wreck of a station in WTAG, but being out of work in this economy does suck so I wish him well.

Here are a few things I've been reading the past week or so...

The new Governor of California Jerry Brown is cracking down on workers who have a state paid cell phone. Not exactly a huge cost savings, but every penny counts.

Speaking of debt, ever wonder how they come up with credit card numbers? It's a quick, interesting read.

As a music fan I found this very funny. No mention of greatest hits or live records, though.

The bowling alley here in Worcester has a rotary phone, so I found this an amusing little tale.

Regis Philbin, the King of morning TV, has announced his retirement. I can't recall the last time I watched his show, but whenever it was I recall thinking he was a little out of it and looked like he was being led around like a small child.

And to make sure I end on a positive note, here's an uplifting story about a Southwest Airlines pilot doing a good turn for folks that suffered a huge tragedy in their lives.

[Shrek] King Times Three

Tonight was my third King of the Hill tournament, and like last month I showed up much earlier than I needed to.

Because my back has been bothering me I didn't really warm up at all before the match knowing that my opponent was going to want to grab a quick cigarette after his semi-final match, giving me plenty of time to loosen up a little on the lanes we were going to bowl on.

I haven't been bowling that well as of late, but I knew my opponent was wearing down because he started the head-to-head rounds as the lowest seed. I just kept muttering to myself "no bad boxes" and just tried to stay in the game until he ran out of gas.

I had a small lead after the first string, and about midway through the first half of string number two my opponent was literally running on empty. I went back to my manta "no bad boxes", and cruised on to victory. Fiona and I celebrated by buying some Chinese food.

Next month might be a little different story as I have enough strings to have my average figured based on what I've bowled at the King events, so my lowly 98 average will no longer count for me.

I'm still planning on winning, though.

[Shrek] King Once Again

Last month I posted about the King of the Hill tournament at Colonial Lanes in Worcester. Well, sans the 44oz Diet Coke, I returned to defend my title. Even though I didn't need to arrive until later in the evening, I went for the start and stood around to watch the preliminary rounds.

The 5v4 match ended in a tie, with both bowlers having to bowl two additional boxes to break the tie. The rest of the matches weren't even close, which included my two string finals match. It was really over after 7 boxes when I threw 4 spares in a row (and had a fifth waived off because of a lob).

So next month I get to defend my title again...

[Fiona] Tuesdays in the Summer

I am a repeater. When I am cold or I don't feel well, I will tell you at least a half dozen times. It is just part of the charm that makes me who I am. Shrek has this silly rule. I can complain/whine about the same thing only twice and then I need to move onto a new subject and/or complaint. I think it's funny but it actually helps me most times to move on.

All except for Tuesdays.

It is a matter of fact I loathe Tuesdays for no particular reason and yet a few come to mind. Tuesdays in the summer simply means I have to bowl. I stink at bowling. I am a visually inspired person and, let's face it, there is nothing visually appealing about bowling. My mind wanders. I often throw that little ball in the gutter and it makes me get creative with my language (not ladylike in the least).



You may wonder why is it then that I participate in something that causes me so much angst? The short answer? The people.



I try to have some fun while my torment is on going. I like to laugh with Hilka and Pat is a real gem. My friend Chris taught me all about trying to do your best no matter what and I have to admit I look forward to seeing them each week. Yes bowling has been good for me in some ways. {{Don't tell anyone ;)}}

Fiona and Hilka

Pat

Chris

Dear Shrek joined a men's bowling league about ten years ago as a way to have a guy night out without causing too much mayhem. Skip is an old-time bowler and has been in the game 30 odd years. He is on Shrek's team in the mens league. Paul not only bowls but keeps the lanes in fine working order and has a vast knowledge of bowling greats past and present truly amazing.

Shrek

Skip

Paul

Shrek found he enjoyed doing something with the guys and it allowed us some together time. It was only a short jump to the summer mixed couple league and a request from the Big Guy about having our own team. Shrek likes when I do the things in his life that he enjoys even if it means I need to "make believe" I also enjoy said activity.

So now each summer for approximately 17 weeks I bitch, I moan, I get really angry. I laugh, I cry , I enjoy my friends. I hate going to the bowling alley but I adapt. I accept, I move on until...the next Tuesday dawns when it all begins again. I told you I was a repeater.

[Shrek] King Of The Hill

As many of you know, one of my hobbies is candlepin bowling. I bowl in a couple of fall leagues and one in the summer. I do it for a night out with friends, and while one fall league is a very competitive league the other two I regularly bowl in are supposed to be for fun. I sometimes forget that it's supposed to be fun, but I am getting better at that. This summer I've had some issues remembering that because, well, for lack of a more family friendly term, I've sucked pretty badly.

My usual 110ish average has fallen to 98, and it is beginning to frustrate me. Just about everything that I can do wrong I'm doing, and as soon as I fix one thing something else starts falling apart. And even when I get it all together, I'm not catching any breaks, which causes even more frustration.

So it makes what happened last night more than a tad confusing.

On Saturday nights, there are mini-tournaments called "King of the Hill" at different bowling alleys across central Massachusetts. The only Saturday night in the month that didn't have one was the second Saturday, and to fill that gap a couple of guys I bowl with started one here in Worcester at Colonial Bowl, the place I normally bowl at. It being at my "home house" was the only reason I showed up.

So with my 44oz Diet Coke in hand and a stiff back, I showed up to see what was going on. Looking around at the number of people that were there, which included a few guys I knew, I figured I'd give it a shot....and I'm glad I did.

I have no idea how it happened, but everything began to click. I threw three great strings for a 353 triple, and because my average was so low I got a handicap of 72 pins for a 425 total. That was good enough to be the second seed in the ladder matches, where the 5th seed plays the 4th, and the winner of that match bowls the 3rd, and so on. The championship round is a two string final.

The 5v4 match was very high scoring, as was the next match. When it was my turn to bowl I had been standing around for twenty minutes and had cooled off a lot. My practice box was terrible, with me going back to not doing anything right. Luckily, that was the only time it happened. I was on fire in the match, throwing a 130-odd string to win it scratch.

That carried over early in the championship match, and it was a good thing. I haven't bowled more than three strings in a night in a very, very long time. Now toss in a bad back and I knew I needed to get out front quick. I won the first string by 11, and then ran out of gas. Lucky for me, my opponent wasn't getting many breaks and I was able to keep it over a 10 pin lead for the rest of the second string. In the last box I needed just a six to force him to throw a double strike, and with my seven drop on my first ball and him not throwing a strike I was the winner.

Next month I'm automatically the #1 seed, and only have to bowl in the championship match.

I do expect to get some razzing on Tuesday when I show up for my summer league night as the score sheets were collected by one of those bowlers to poke fun at my 98 average...a razzing I'll be more than happy to take.

[Shrek] The Unlikely Champions

Earlier this summer I wrote about Fiona's and my first night of the summer bowling league. My plan, although I don't recall if I mentioned it as I was at the time more annoyed with Curt Schilling's sudden loss of testicular fortitude, was to simply stay loose over the summer and to enjoy the company of friends.

I figured we'd be good enough to finish no worse than the middle of the pack, and could hopefully play spoiler for the two teams I thought would be in the running to win the league. Nothing that happened the first couple weeks really changed my thinking, and we were all generally having fun.

Week three changed things.

I had promised Fiona we could go to the free Tornadoes exhibition game, and that game fell on a league night. So the day before the game Fiona and I rolled off ("pre-bowled" for all you ten-pinners), with both of us rolling a little over our averages. Josie and Rich then had to face our (at that point) unknown opponents. It turns out we bowled "the old lady" team that week, who decided they were going to "coach" Josie to make her a better bowler. Rich was able to get her to ignore them, and the two of them with our roll off scores absolutely shellacked the old ladies 8-0.

Rich and I exchanged a few e-mails about what happened, and when we all met up the next Tuesday Josie was still irked. And she took it out against the ghost team, helping us beat the invisible foes 8-0.

From that point on we were in first place, and spent every week after running away from the pack. We actually had a chance to lock in first place in week 14, but the teams chasing us didn't co-operate, but we still clinched first in week 16 as the teams behind us made one last futile push.

That made last night a "victory lap". The girls both had great nights, Rich kind of tossed the ball down the alley getting his boxes over, and I had a couple lobs that made me look like a slo-pitch softball pitcher. Along the way we had a lot of laughs, and for the only time this season, got skunked. Not that it mattered. The beer flowed freely, the pizza tasted great, and the fact how we bowled didn't matter made for a great evening.

I finished with the 2nd high average in the league (a book keeping error had me tied with someone else for 2nd, but it would have been too much effort to fix it so we let it stand), and Rich also got an individual prize.

Josie started week one with a 44 average. She ended the season at over 65. I have never seen anyone improve 20 pins in one season, even those like Josie that had never bowled in a league before.

Fiona ended up a little over her normal 66, and despite saying every week she hated the game, had a good time.

Together we made for some very unlikely champions.

[Shrek] Bowling and Backpedaling

Tuesday began the couple's league I bowl in during the summer. As I mentioned earlier, I'm on a new team with Rich, Josie, and Fiona. Let's just say the league has probably never seen a team like us.

Because Fiona was going to Salter School the last couple of summers she hasn't bowled in the league since 2004. It was funny watching her open her bowling bag as she wasn't certain what was going to crawl out of it. Turns out it was just as she left it--her shoes and red, white, and blue bowling balls neatly packed away.

To say Fiona was "a little rusty" would be the understatement of the relatively new millenia. She bowled less than her previously reliable 66 average, but as the night went on she had more and more fun as the rust scraped away. The highlight of the evening was when she got a ten and nearly the entire league cheered and rang the bells they bring to indicate a teammate scored a spare or strike. Her ear-to-ear grin really solidified that we are there for the fun of it.

I had my normal night--two good strings sandwiched around an absolutely pathetic effort. I finished with a 320, which is right around where I should be scoring. Rich was a tad under where he normally bowls, but as he's bowled very little (if at all) since last summer that's not a shock. Josie wrote her own story about the night, which you can catch in her blog on the T&G website.

We bowled some good folks and we all had a great time. And as luck would have it, when it was all said and done we tied 4-4 for the evening.

Now for a complete change in direction, I'd like to say some things about Curt Schilling. As if there's anyone on the planet that doesn't know, Curt Schilling is the definition of "attention whore". There isn't a topic he doesn't have an opinion about, and he's not afraid of speaking about it. Some might say he and I have that in common, but I digress...

Schilling makes a weekly appearance on Boston's WEEI (850 AM, in Worcester it is simulcasted on WVEI 1440AM). During his call in earlier this week to the "Dennis and Callahan" show, Schilling was asked if fans should hold their noses while Barry Bonds perseus Hank Aaron's Major League all-time home run record.

His answer:
Oh yeah. I would think so. I mean, he admitted that he used steroids. I mean, there's no gray area. He admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his taxes, and cheating on the game, so I think the reaction around the league, the game, being what it is, in the case of what people think. Hank Aaron not being there. The commissioner trying to figure out where to be. It's sad.

And I don't care that he's black, or green, or purple, or yellow, or whatever. It's unfortunate... there's good people and bad people. It's unfortunate that it's happening the way it's happening.

Schilling has backed away from those comments, and posted an apology on his blog (which I will not link to, Google it if you want to see it).

Well Curt, you should have stood behind those comments. Yes, you were wrong when you said Bonds "admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his taxes, and cheating on the game", because Bonds has never admitted to doing those things. He has admitted to taking steroids, although he says it was "unknowingly". Yeah, I guess you could "unknowingly" take a substance for a few years and not wonder why you went from looking like Stan Laurel to The Incredible Hulk.

The fact is Bonds has done all of those things, he simply didn't admit to doing so. I would have liked to have seen what would have happened if just once someone would have the guts to speak out against the elephant in the room, and I thought for once Shilling would use his reputation and speak out.

Alas, I was wrong.

For humor's sake people should check out all the attacks now aimed at Schilling. Many of them are coming from the San Fransisco area. I can't say I'm surprised at that as they are the only people that believe en masse that Bonds is a victim in all of this.

[Shrek] Some Random Stuff

In our April 22nd post I said we'd talk about our recent voyage to Manchester, NH, so I shall start there.

A bunch of us from the Worcester Sharks Booster Club went up to Manchester to watch game two of the Sharks/Monarchs playoff series. Now I had been to Manchester a few times, and in fact had stayed at a hotel that looks down upon the Verizon Wireless Center. I had never been in the building, so it was something new for me on a lot of levels.

Because the trip was badly mismanaged the booster club went up in two vehicles--a rented mini-van, and my buddy Rich's Durango, which was the vehicle Fiona and I were in. We were joined by some other "Sharks buddies" Ernie and Dave. Dave is also a "Tornado buddy", so I'm sure you'll be hearing more about him in the future. The drive up was a lot of fun, a mishmash of conversations about our jobs, politics, and whatever else struck our fancy. It is here that I learned of the term "LBGs". It is extremely "non-PC", and I will not explain what it means. But I do expect to use that term a lot in the future.

So we arrive in Manchester and the first thing you notice is the Verizon Center has no lobby. Everyone is lined up outside in front of the doors waiting for them to open. Luckily it was a beautiful evening so it wasn't a problem. I can envision huge issues if it were raining or snowing, something that happens frequently in the winter.

The mini-van that was driven by Chris had arrived before us, and they were at will call getting our tickets. I was not shocked to find out there was a problem, which luckily were easily solved. I will refrain from posting about how funny it was watching Chris, who has some form of chronic laryngitis, try and communicate with the woman inside the ticket booth.

So into the building we go, and it is an oddly designed place. As you walk around the concourse you go from the standard arena look to what looks like office space, and back again. We made several stops at the Monarch's Booster club table, where they were all generally nice folks. However, the vast majority of the rest of the fans are complete numbskulls.

As the game went on every hit by a Monarchs player resulted in huge cheers; every hit by a Sharks player caused a whine so high looking for a penalty you'd have thought the building was full of preschoolers. It got to the point where we'd laugh at the crowd's reaction. Unfortunately, they got the last laugh as Manchester won the game in double OT, 4-3.

One odd aside, while we were in Manchester several of us commented how good the food was, and how there was a much wider selection over the DCU Center. Later in the series there were several Monarchs fans that came to Worcester and told us how much better the food was in the DCU Center over the Verizon Center.

I guess the saying "the grass is always greener..." fits there.

In other news...

My fall bowling leagues are just ending. In my Thursday league I had the second high average on the team and bowled fairly well throughout the season. In my Monday night league I was, well, terrible. In neither league will my teams finish in the top half, which is a shock because in the Monday league we led the pack at the halfway mark.

Tuesday will see the summer couple's league start, and I'm changing teams from who I bowled with the last couple years. I'll be bowling with Fiona, Rich, and Josie (you can read one of Josie's blogs that is linked in the right side menu). I'm going into that league to have fun and just stay loose over the summer...or so I say now.

With the Sharks being eliminated Fiona and I will focus on the Worcester Tornadoes (Can-Am league baseball) when that season starts. For now we're passing time watching the New England Surge (Continental Indoor Football League).

I'm sure there's some other stuff I'm not remembering right now, so until next time...