[Shrek & Fiona] We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

...so that we can make a public service announcement.

This is from an e-mail I was sent from WROR, 105.7FM out of Boston:

The international record labels are asking Congress for a handout and they want to take it from us. To put it simply, they want to charge us big fees to broadcast the music you love!

Local radio stations relationships with record labels and artists have always been positive… free play for free promotion, but this could all change for the negative if this performance tax is enforced.

How does this affect YOU?

Your favorite stations are likely to experience job cuts, stifled airplay, and have reduced ability to contribute to the community organizations and listening public who depend on local radio right here in Boston.

Please help us continue to provide great radio by signing our petition.

Thank you for your continued support of 105.7 WROR

Their petition can be found online at helpsaveradio.org...

[Shrek] You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Fiona and I were just watching an NCIS repeat on USA Network, when an ad for a new prescription product was aired. The product's name is Latisse, and because it's not possible for me to type what it's used for without laughing hysterically I'll just post the link and you can see for yourself.

Latisse.com

I like to end each post with a punchline, but how the heck can I top that?

[Shrek] I Remember When...

After work today Fiona and I were discussing a topic that, now that we've thought about it for awhile, is far more important than any topic you're bound to read about in any newspaper or hear about in any newscast today.

Cracker Jacks were a lot better when we were younger.

I realize times are tough, but how bad is it when there is no longer enough caramel on the popcorn to make your fingers sticky? And are peanuts so expensive that putting more than three or four in the bag causes significant profit loss?

Oh, yeah--and the bag. Cracker Jacks belong in a box and not in a foil bag.

They also managed to make the crappy "prizes" even crappier. Keep your damn tattoos and stickers, I want my magnifying glass back. Yeah, I know, you didn't get a magnifying glass in every box...but you knew you had a chance!!!! And if you were lucky enough to get one, every kid in the neighborhood came around so you could all burn ants with it.

I guess there is a silver lining in all this--there's now no chance PETA will be bothering little kids about killing bugs.

[Shrek] Fake Outrage Is Far More Comedy Than Letterman Intended

Comedians tell jokes. Sometimes the jokes are funny, sometimes they aren't, and sometimes people aren't smart enough to get the joke. And often times the people that don't get the joke never realize the joke is on them.

I'm sure everyone has heard, or at least heard about, the joke Letterman told about Sarah Palin's daughter attending the Yankees game. "One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game, during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.", was what Letterman said.

Letterman has since acknowledging the joke was "ugly," "cheap," and "in poor taste", and has apologized. In my opinion, along with it being those three things it was one thing that's far worse for a comedian--not very funny. It doesn't matter the age of Palin's children, nor which one went to the game, the joke doesn't really work.

But the fake outrage that has followed is high comedy indeed.

"I think that calling the former vice presidential candidate a slut or saying that her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez, I think everyone can agree that’s over the line," Washington Examiner correspondent Byron York told FOX News’ Greta Von Susteren. I don't know much about York, but those comments seem spot on to me.

"Letterman jokes about Palin's daughter. Way over the line. If it were my daughters I'd be furious. He should seriously apologize." Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill agreed, speaking out against Letterman on her Twitter page. I don't know much about Senator McCaskill either, but this seems spot on too.

So there are folks that seem to get it was just a joke that went bad, and have taken a reasonable stance about it. But there are some others...

"Acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone's daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others," is Palin's comment. She added later, "It’s no wonder girls have such low self-esteem in America when a comedian can make a remark like this".

Really? I guess there are no billboards, magazines, or television in Alaska. Because if there were Palin would see that adding any comedian to the list of reasons why girls have low self-esteem is ludicrous.

Fox news and CNN are full of conservative talking heads, all trying to top each other, continuing the trend of pretending to be outraged over something most folks don't care one iota about. And I'm not the only one noticing the fake outrage makes these folks look silly

Mark McKinnon, a former campaign adviser to John McCain and George W. Bush said, "If the right goes after Letterman, they make him look big and themselves small." McKinnon added, "It's win-win for Letterman."

From Republican media consultant Fred Davis, a chief ad-maker for the McCain campaign: "I think it's a mistake too many conservatives are making right now. They are trying to find anything to attack." Davis may have had the best take on this, saying "Letterman apologized. He said it was over the line. He is a funny guy, and his job is to do sarcastic humor. That's his thing."

As I told my conservative friends in March, learn which battles to fight. This wasn't one that needed fighting, and you had no chance of winning it no matter what you did.

[Fiona] Holding On

The hardest thing to do is hold on. Be patient,wait,relax. I can not tell you the number of times in a week let alone in a single day just how many times dear Shrek tells me to relax. Shrek is more impatient than I am truth be told. His impatience is with other people; mine is with myself. I want to be happy NOW. I want what I want NOW. I pace, I get antsy, I whine. I am a pain in the ass.

I went shopping today for a dress. I worked myself into a lather. I couldn't find anything that fit me in an attractive way. Also I am in a strange age bracket. Most of the dresses I looked at need to be worn by young, hard bodies not a middle-aged cute woman trying to look pretty. As I went from store to store my impatience with the process and myself grew and grew.

I hate being between a rock and a hard place. It makes me feel like I can't win. No matter where I run I am right there. I can not get away from myself.