[Fiona] The Story of Large Marge

Hello, My name is Fiona and I am an addict. I love food. Not for its nutritional values but for its textures and smells and delectableness (if that indeed is a word). I am the classic overeater. I eat because of what is eating me. Well, I decided in March of this year to give up the lifestyle. This Large Marge just couldn't take it or fake it anymore. My knees hurt, my back, my soul; there wasn't a square inch of me that wasn't suffering in some way. I needed to face facts...no Twinkie has ever been my friend. He has only been carefully disguised in gooey sweetness to entice me into believe that he and he alone could make me "feel better".

Being honest about the whys of my eating have not been easy. I never realized before that I viewed life through woe-colored glasses. I was the honored guest at my own pity party. There was no room for anyone else's problems, only mine. My hurt, my anger, my disappointments, my failures, I let them hang around my soul like the chains of Marley's ghost. I let the air out of the balloons and sent back all the gifts. That party is officially over.

As of now I have lost 78 pounds. It has been a path I tread not lightly but willingly. Some days it has been dark and scary and yet inviting at the same time for who knows what lies over that hill? I journey on not knowing where I will end up. On the way I have found that there are many people in my life who care for me deeply. Without their love and support I don't know if I would have made it very far on the road. I offer them my deepest thanks and only hope some day I will be able to return all the kindness they have shown and shared with me.

I am now several sizes smaller than when I started. I find myself at a crossroads of decisions. Decisions which should be easy for me to make and yet I find myself hesitating. I am not sure why. Could it be I fear the hill never flattens out? Or lessens? Or changes to smooth and even footing? I think it is that the territory I move in now is closer to a place I have only imagined I can be a part of. That's right, the "Land of Normal Sizes". A place I always thought was just a spot on the map of my life; a nice place to "visit" but there was just no way I'd ever be able to live there.

I now know that spot on the map is a real place. Not today but some day soon I will walk into the "Land of Normal Sizes" and I will fight tooth and nail to stay. To win the day "you must know yourself, stay true to yourself, and wrest your destiny from the grasp of life." Author unknown

Never give up on the person you are meant to become.

Words I try to live by.