While most of the country was celebrating July fourth by going to cookouts and scoffing down hot dogs and potato salad, Fiona and I spent the day at the wedding of our friends Rich and Josie at the sprawling Harding Allen Estate in Barre, Massachusetts, which is one of the coolest wedding/reception places in the area. And after what seemed like endless weeks of clouds and rain, the day could not have been better for their outdoor wedding.
As I was a groomsman, the event really began for Fiona and I Friday night at the rehearsal. Most people have a good idea about the ins and outs of being in a wedding party, so usually these rehearsals are just an excuse to get together before the wedding and relax before the next day’s festivities. This one was a little different because it was going to be a Quaker wedding, and for most of us it would be the first time we were introduced to anything about that religion. I’ll talk more about the ceremony later, but the rehearsal went very quickly and we had lots of time afterward to go into the estate and look around.
After we were finished our business in Barre we went to Josie parent’s house in Worcester for the rehearsal dinner. Despite the thunderstorm that chased everyone into the house it was a very nice gathering, with some great food catered by some company whose name I don’t remember. Rich, his best man Ray, and I spent most of the evening holding court on the back porch. Uncharacteristically, Rich was drinking water. And in character, Ray and I were not.
The high point, at least for me, was when Fiona was surprised with a birthday cake that was served for dessert. I had let Josie know when we got the invitation to the rehearsal dinner that Friday was Fiona’s birthday, and Josie jumped right in and got the caterer to make a cake for Fiona. Fiona was moved to tears by Josie's gesture, and then kept talking about how embarrassed she was for crying. She shouldn’t have been embarrassed, there’s nothing more genuine than sharing an emotional moment with a friend.
The next morning I arrived at the Harding Allen Estate at my appointed time, already dressed in my tux. I roamed around the lower level while Rich, Ray, and Dan were up changing, heading upstairs when summoned by Josie’s mom so she could pin a boutonnière on my jacket. It was a good thing I went up, as I was the only one who knew how to adjust the size of the ties we had. We hung around in the room for awhile waiting for Josie’s younger brother Peter to arrive. I learned yesterday that he’s seldom on time for anything, and is easily distractible.
The next part of the post I’ve written and edited half a dozen times, trying to get all the information correct about a Quaker wedding ceremony. It turns out I needn’t have done any of that, as Josie posted what happens at a Quaker wedding on her marriage blog. Because what she posted is generally what happened, I’ll link to that so you can read it if you wish, and just mention the small differences they did.
http://joandrich.blogspot.com/2009/05/how-quaker-wedding-works.htmlGenerally Meetings are done in a circle, but the layout of the lawn area made that impossible. So they went with the Clearness Committee sitting behind Rich and Josie, and Ray and Sarah, Josie’s sister and Maid of Honor, sitting aside of them. The groomsmen and bridesmaids, after making their way from behind the raised area, sat in the first row of seats.
I was paired with Josie's friend Celia, and as instructed, we walked down the stairs to the lawn and into the first row of chairs, with bridesmaids going to the right side and the groomsmen to the left. I think we were supposed to sit starting at the aisle, but Dan continued down the entire row and sat at the end, which happened to be in the shade. It was a good call on his part.
Now every wedding has a small thing that goes wrong, and I just happened to notice what it was as we were standing waiting for Rich and Josie to make their entrance--there were no chairs on the raised area for Ray or Sarah. Luckily Peter, who was the last in the row, was paying enough attention so when I whispered to him to grab a char and give it to Ray he did it. I walked across to the other side to grab one for Sarah, who had a look of “what am I supposed to do?” before she realized I was grabbing her a chair.
The silence of a Quaker Meeting is something that is odd for folks used to more traditional wedding service, but it was a cool experience, and I think it’s great that Josie chose to share that experience with all of us.
From that point on everything was just like you’d expect at a wedding, with the normal picture taking (and family bickering) going on. The reception was great, with Ray’s toast certainly being one of the highlights of the event. There was no head table, so I got to have dinner with Fiona and many of my “Sharks” friends.
Once the reception was over the bridal party stayed at the estate and had our own after party, where everyone was happy to be back in “normal” clothes. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that, to use Josie’s own words, she was wearing “the most God awful ensemble (she) could put together.”
Below are some pictures of the rehearsal dinner and wedding that Fiona took...when you click on the individual pictures they will show in a larger size.
Josie (center) gives us the rundown on how things are going to work. Rich is to the right, and the women on the left is the Events Coordinator for the estate.
Ray, the best man. The view is from the raised area where the ceremony will take place out toward where the visitors will be seated.
This is the walkway the bridal party would cover while heading to the ceremony. We entered by the gate on the right and then turned left, heading toward the camera.
This is the continuing view heading toward the area of the ceremony.
The reception hall.
The crowd gathers waiting for the ceremony to begin.
Shrek and Celia make their entrance.
A member of the Clearness Committee explains the traditions of a Quaker Meeting. I was about 10 feet away from her and could barely hear a word she said. I can't imagine anyone behind me could hear her at all.
Rich and Josie during an early portion of the Meeting.
Rich and Josie exchanging their vows. Despite the differences between weddings I was used to and a Quaker wedding, the vows were very similar.
Rich and Josie signing their marriage certificate. Fiona was unable to get a picture of it, so trust me when I say it is very cool looking.
The Meeting ends with everyone shaking hands.
Shrek and best man Ray
The bridal party. The girls, from left to right: Cecilie, Celia, and Luciana. Sarah (the maid of honor) is in the background over Cecilie's shoulder at the marriage certificate as the guests sign it. The guys, again from left to right: Shrek, Ray, Peter, and Dan.
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