[Fiona] Once Upon A...

Time. We are all to some degree obsessed with time. There never seems to be enough time. What time we do have we waste. Time is not likely to be saved or savored. Time is elusive. You think you have a handle on it only to find out you didn't have as much of it as you needed. It drives me crazy. I don't know if anybody out in blog land noticed that I haven't blogged any entries in quite some time. That would be because my head was lodged very far into my butt cheeks. I am sorry. I started blogging as a method to keep my sanity in check. Somehow I let that nasty critter time get away from me and I have been having a bitch of a time getting any time to blog. Thus the naming of my post. I will try to be better about that. Later...when I can find the time...;^)

[Shrek & Fiona] Our Heartfelt Holiday Message

As we are now in the holiday season, please accept our heartfelt holiday greeting:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Any and all applicable taxes that arise from accepting this greeting are the sole responsibility of the wishee.

Yours neutrally,
Shrek & Fiona

[Shrek] To all our Jewish friends...

...HAPPY CHAKA KHANIKAH!!!!

[Shrek] Semper Fi

Both Fiona and I have been busy as of late, so as I work on a "real" posting, I thought I'd share this story from the Marine Corps News, via military.com...

Marine Makes Insurgents Pay the Price

November 18, 2008
Marine Corps News|by Cpl. James M. Mercure

FARAH PROVINCE, Afghanistan — In the city of Shewan, approximately 250 insurgents ambushed 30 Marines and paid a heavy price for it.

Shewan has historically been a safe haven for insurgents, who used to plan and stage attacks against Coalition Forces in the Bala Baluk district. The city is home to several major insurgent leaders. Reports indicate that more than 250 full time fighters reside in the city and in the surrounding villages.

Shewan had been a thorn in the side of Task Force 2d Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, Special Purpose Marine Air Ground Task Force Afghanistan throughout the Marines’ deployment here in support of Operation Enduring Freedom, because it controls an important supply route into the Bala Baluk district. Opening the route was key to continuing combat operations in the area.

“The day started out with a 10-kilometer patrol with elements mounted and dismounted, so by the time we got to Shewan, we were pretty beat,” said a designated marksman who requested to remain unidentified. “Our vehicles came under a barrage of enemy RPGs (rocket propelled grenades) and machine gun fire. One of our ‘humvees’ was disabled from RPG fire, and the Marines inside dismounted and laid down suppression fire so they could evacuate a Marine who was knocked unconscious from the blast.”

The vicious attack that left the humvee destroyed and several of the Marines pinned down in the kill zone sparked an intense eight-hour battle as the platoon desperately fought to recover their comrades. After recovering the Marines trapped in the kill zone, another platoon sergeant personally led numerous attacks on enemy fortified positions while the platoon fought house to house and trench to trench in order to clear through the enemy ambush site.

“The biggest thing to take from that day is what Marines can accomplish when they’re given the opportunity to fight,” the sniper said. “A small group of Marines met a numerically superior force and embarrassed them in their own backyard. The insurgents told the townspeople that they were stronger than the Americans, and that day we showed them they were wrong.”

During the battle, the designated marksman single handedly thwarted a company-sized enemy RPG and machinegun ambush by reportedly killing 20 enemy fighters with his devastatingly accurate precision fire. He selflessly exposed himself time and again to intense enemy fire during a critical point in the eight-hour battle for Shewan in order to kill any enemy combatants who attempted to engage or maneuver on the Marines in the kill zone.

What made his actions even more impressive was the fact that he didn’t miss any shots, despite the enemies’ rounds impacting within a foot of his fighting position.

“I was in my own little world,” the young corporal said. “I wasn’t even aware of a lot of the rounds impacting near my position, because I was concentrating so hard on making sure my rounds were on target.”

After calling for close-air support, the small group of Marines pushed forward and broke the enemies’ spirit as many of them dropped their weapons and fled the battlefield. At the end of the battle, the Marines had reduced an enemy stronghold, killed more than 50 insurgents and wounded several more.

“I didn’t realize how many bad guys there were until we had broken through the enemies’ lines and forced them to retreat. It was roughly 250 insurgents against 30 of us,” the corporal said. “It was a good day for the Marine Corps. We killed a lot of bad guys, and none of our guys were seriously injured.”

I am reminded of a quote by Gen. William Thornson, US Army..."There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: the Marines and the enemy. Everyone else has a secondhand opinion."

My best guess is that "young corporal" is 20 years old. Think about what you were doing at age 20, and then think about what the young men and women serving overseas are doing as you read this.

So as we approach Thanksgiving, a day where most of us gorge ourselves on turkey and all the fixings, how about we spend just a few minutes thinking of those that aren't home this holiday season, and how they volunteered to be away from their homes so we could be safe in ours.

[Shrek] Some Words

Anti-American
Big Government Loving
Communists
Clueless
Elitist
Godless
Immoral
Lefties
Liberals
Marxists
Progressives
Radicals
Socialists
Tax Raisers
Tree Huggers
Unpatriotic

Winners

[Shrek] A mostly non-political Sarah Palin post?

Unless you've been hiding under a rock these last few weeks, you know who Sarah Palin is. Depending on your political leanings, she's either the best thing since sliced bread or she, well, isn't.

I'm starting to think she's the best thing since sliced bread. Nope, it has nothing to do with her being a "hottie". Nor does it have to do with her $125,000 wardrobe and make-up purchases. And it certainly isn't for her political beliefs.

It's because she's a "Hockey Mom".

Yep, after all these years we finally have a candidate that's really into the coolest sport on Earth--ice hockey. Because of that, she's been invited to several NHL games to make the ceremonial puck drop.

Her first puck drop was in Philadelphia where one of my most hated teams plays, the Flyers. After her puck drop, the Flyers, who were predicted to be one of the top teams in their division, are in next to last place with just five points in seven games and are 10 points out of first place.

WAY TO GO SARAH!!!!!

Her second puck drop was last night in St Louis at the Blues game. St Louis once owned the minor league hockey team here in Worcester, only to steal it away five years ago and then lie through their teeth about trying to find local ownership and many other issues.

It would be hard to make the Blues, who already are in the bottom tier of NHL teams, any worse...but my girl Sarah looks to have done it. Never mind the Blues lost the LA Kings (one of the few teams worse than the Blues) 4-0, but while skating out to his net Blues goaltender Manny Legace tripped over the carpet that Sarah and her kids were going to walk onto the ice on and hurt his hip. He had to leave the game after one period and will miss at least their next game.

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

And my love for Sarah is starting to spread, even to Lagace himself!!!! "I’m starting to like her more and more. No grudge." Lagace told the Associated Press after the game.

So in just two puck drops, Sarah Palin has managed to do harm to two teams I root against. Let's be honest, how much more could I have hoped for?

I have taken it upon myself to e-mail the McCain/Palin campaign to suggest a few other teams she could drop pucks for, starting with the New York Rangers. Yes, I know New York is a solid "blue state", but I think her dropping the puck at a Rangers home game would be great for me...errr...the country.

And since she won't be too far from New jersey, she could always swing down to the Meadowlands and drop the puck at a Devils' game while she's in the Northeast. And by dropping it at two buildings so close to each other she'll use less fossil fuels, making the tree-huggers happy. Win-Win, if you ask me.

She could also get some foreign policy experience by heading to Canada and dropping a puck at a Montreal Canadiens game. Perhaps she could even do it for a couple of games there.

Now the best part...in a recent article in the Washington Post Sarah said if she and husband Todd had had a sixth child, they had already picked a name for a boy joining siblings Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig.

"I always wanted a son named Zamboni," she said.

So folks, some candidates talk a good game, but Sarah Palin really delivers for this hockey fan.

Vote Sarah--vote for hockey.

[Fiona] ARGH !!!

A fog has rolled in and I am having difficulty cutting through the haze to find the sun. How's that for waxing poetic? I am in a funk. I am battling the sadness demon. I feel useless in my job and I feel overwhelmed taking care of my dad. I am not sure which way to turn. I have always been multi-talented. I sing, draw, paint, write. In other words I can do lots of things well but not any one thing well enough to earn a living at it. It frustrates the bejeezus out of me.

As a little girl I wanted to be a ballerina. No, that didn't pan out, way too much work and not enough food. The same can be said about the art career I wanted and the writing. So I settled on not really setting the bar for anything. I was complaining to Shrek just this morning that I was pissed because life didn't turn out the way I planned. Funny thing is I never really made any plans so... didn't it turn out just the way I planned it? Odd but true. Life happens around you even if you don't participate in it.

I get frustrated because I want to work in a job that I care about. A job where I can make a difference and I am respected for my input. Is this really too much to ask for? I suffer from being more intelligent than my job. I suffer from(I have)too much brains(stop laughing) and not enough education in any one thing so I can make a career. Ok... maybe I am a dumb ass. Do you see the recurring theme here? Is it too late at age 44 to change lanes?

I have a lot of life left to live; well, I hope so anyway. How do I find meaningful employment that will pay the bills and help me build a nest egg? There is something to be said for the person who is fearless, not afraid to go after what they deserve. I wish I had that kind of confidence in my abilities.

[Shrek] I Know Who Won The Debates

Now that all of the presidential debates are over, I'm finally ready to declare who won all the debates.

My guy.

Yeah, the way he just kept pounding what he believed in, and kept showing that the other guy--who is completely clueless I might add--simply has no idea what he's talking about, was great. I mean, just the way he kept showing how that other guy was just making stuff up about what my guy believes, and he kept showing all the misrepresentations of my guy's positions the other guy was making was ingenious.

Now I know that with the war going on, and with this huge financial crisis crippling our economy, my guy has do a few things that might be unpopular. But that other guy's ideas really go too far, and in some cases don't go far enough. My guy understands all the issues and will do what's best for America. That other guy just has no clue.

And have you seen who is supporting that other guy? Why the heck would anyone want to vote for someone that has support from them? I mean, they're just as clueless as the guy they're supporting.

I can't wait for this election to be over so my guy can begin all that change he's talking about, and that other guy will hopefully slip into obscurity.

[Fiona] Odd But True

Odd but true...Webkinz are flippin' cool. I was never one as a child to play dollies and/or house. No way. I wanted to climb trees and build forts. My two sisters and I grew up in a neighborhood of boys. Suffice to say that the boys always had more fun, got dirtier and taught me to spit. How can a girl resist that kind of raw manliness?

Odd but true...I am afraid of dolls that have too much of a life like look to them. Clowns are also not high on my list and in the presence of a person dressed as a clown I get nervous. Shrek has to run interference so I don't break down and cry. So like I said not a big one for playing house when I was young. My best galpal has four wee ones at home. 2 boys, 2 girls and way 2 many Webkinz to keep track of.

Her kids got wind of them at school I am sure. On more than a few occassions when I am at their house visiting all "the babies" get brought out and paraded before me. Not really much interest on my part as Shrek and I have no children and no such plans for any. Having said that I fell in love with the whole Webkinz idea. I am now the proud "parent" to a chipmunk and a pink dragon. I couldn't be happier.

Odd but true...I can play "flash" games of solitaire, matching, cards. I earn kinzcash which can be used to buy groceries, clothes, furniture, doctor visits. A cool concept; teach responsibility and have fun. I am having a great time.

[Shrek] First Dances Are So Romantic

Nothing like raising the bar a little...

[Shrek] Random Thoughts

I've been very busy as of late and have neglected this blog a little...so as I have a few minutes I'll just toss out some random thoughts.

* If Sarah Palin believes her home state of Alaska's proximity to Russia equates to foreign policy experience, then I must be a very pius person as I can see a church from my front room window. The failing of that would be that I must also be an alcoholic because I can see a barroom and a liquor store too.

* Despite what many pundits seem to think, not voting for Obama doesn't make you a racist. I know lots of folks that aren't planning on voting for him, and for the vast majority "racist" isn't a word I would use to describe them.

* Any list of the top five American film makers needs to have Ken Burns on it.

* "Sisyphean" is a great word that no one uses. It's a shame, because it describes most of what is going on in the political world today. "Nescient" is another great word, and it's why no one uses sisyphean.

* Dianne Williamson finally wrote a column where she didn't attack anyone or try to be funny. (Link: Old soldier commands our respect). She should try that more often. Despite not agreeing with her very often I read every column she writes. In the end, that's probably all she cares about.

* When did employees stop being employees and became "associates"? Who are they supposed to be associated with? Better yet, when did I stop being a "customer" and became a "guest"?

* If you're not in favor of replacing police officers with flagmen at state construction sites, travel down Rt 12 in Auburn as they widen the road. Count the number of officers and compare it to the number actually directing traffic. I have all the respect in the world for the police, but they should at least pretend to be paying attention to traffic.

* What's the easiest way to screw up a traffic pattern? Put a police cruiser in plain site. Suddenly everyone forgets how to drive.

* Both Run-DMC and Chic have a chance to be elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year. Despite being eligible, Stevie Ray Vaughn was not a finalist. Nescients.

[Fiona] Paying It Forward

Random Acts of Kindness, Paying It Forward, Doing the Right Thing...call it whatever you want. It is something that more people should partake of not because you might reap some reward from it but because it makes you and the other participants feel happy; like the world is a good place to be in. Sometimes being happy to part of something bigger than yourself is all the reward necessary.

My parents never had much but they always gave 100% of what they could. The fastest way to get a smile give one away first. I guess you could say that was my mother's philosophy. My parents never thought twice about what action they should take about matters. If something needed to be fixed or someone needed that 's all it took for their involvement. I like to think that some of their goodness survived in my genes.

I found a brand new seriously shiny fully working totally tricked out cellphone...and I returned it to its rightful owner. Not because I had to but because I wanted to. I know from past experience just how heart sick a person can make themselves when things go awry. I found it open in a driveway I was exiting. It was a super sunny day. The reflection of the sun off the case caught my eye. I have to admit at first glance I thought that someone had run over the unfortunate cell because it looked flat. After closer inspection, I realized it was the new Envy by LG. This was no throw away occurence. Someone had dropped this phone.

I drove home showed hubby and told him of my plan to look through the phone's contact list and try to find a HOME number. I told you this phone was up and running. I could have easily misused it for any one of a hundred misdeeds but I am not that kind of a person. I found a listing for HOME. I dialed it from my own landline so as not to use this persons minutes and left a brief yet detailed message for the person to contact me so I could return the phone.

Long story short...phone lost...phone found...phone returned to rightful owner...Fiona feeling like life has deeper meaning. Owner calls next day to say thank you so much...I just hope that someday she does something good for someone else just because she can not because she has to.

[Shrek] Insanity, Cheating, and Redemption

Fiona and I, along with friends Rich and Josie, bowled in the couple's league this summer at Colonial here in Worcester. For the most part, even though we bowled like crap for most of the season we had a good time.

For the most part.

Unfortunately, the league included an absolutely batshit crazy woman. And when I say "batshit crazy", I mean legitimately "eleven eggs short of a dozen" type of crazy. Add to her insanity the social skills of a seven year old and a more annoying voice than Fran Drescher, and you have all the makings for a huge explosion.

And that explosion came two weeks ago.

Our team--in next to last place and bowling the last place team--was bowling in the lanes right in front of the desk. So when I wasn't bowling I spent most of the night leaning against the desk shooting the shit with Bobby. While I was bowling the first five boxes of the third string something happened at the desk, that had I known about I would not have returned there when I was done.

When your match is over you fill out a yellow score sheet and turn it in at the desk. It seems that the crazy woman made a change to that sheet after it was turned in. Was she cheating as some were saying? Was she fixing an error that she says her daughter made? I don't know, and even to this minute, I don't care. What I do care about is what happened next.

As I came back to the desk from bowling, she accused me of cheating. "You cheat all the time and everyone catches you" were her exact words. My only reply to her was "excuse me?". She repeated her allegation. Twice.

I know exactly what she was doing. Because I have had it out with this crazy woman before she was hoping I would verbally defend myself so she could turn herself into the victim, shining the spotlight on me instead of her. There is no way she expected me to do what I did.

I walked away, laughing.

I went to tell my teammates what was happening so that they would know what was going on. Of course the team we were bowling heard me talking with my team, and they also began laughing. From that point on every single time someone got a good break the other team would laughingly accuse them of cheating. Seeing as gossip travels faster than the speed of light, it took absolutely no time for the whole league to know what she did and what she was saying.

For the record, I never told anyone about her changing the scores, only that she accused me and my team of cheating.

Fast forward to last Tuesday, and she was still making her accusation to anyone that would listen--or maybe more correctly--anyone she could corner and whine to. She was told by several people to keep her mouth shut, but as she has the mental power of a small child she just couldn't keep trying to deflect that spotlight off of her.

The team we bowled that week, who had been bowling next to us the week before, jumped right about the "cheating bandwagon" and began not only to accuse us of cheating when we got a good break, but also accused themselves of it. The two teams to our left were also doing it, so we had a great time that night laughing at each other--which if you think about it is the whole idea of the summer league.

Now the best part--I suspected we were going to bowl her team in the last week of the league (yesterday), so I asked Paul to check the schedule to see if I was right. And I was. So I made sure to let a couple folks know she had to bowl us yesterday.

As you may suspect, she was less than pleased to find out she had to bowl against us.

So after a few e-mails going back and forth between the four of us I decided I was going to take the high road--a path I don't normally take by the way--and just ignore the woman. Rich, on the other hand, decided that he'd had enough of her over the last couple years. He placed a bottle of white out and a couple of erasers on the scoring table.

He was also wearing a t-shirt that he made that had this picture on the front...



...along with the words "Super Cheater". On the back he had "HGH? Steroids? Eraser?"

When she saw it, she went nuts. She threatened to have Rich thrown out--which of course she didn't do because there was no chance of it happening. When Paul came down to ask Rich if there was going to be an issue, he calmly said that as long as she kept her mouth shut there wouldn't be any problems.

But, of course, being batshit crazy she couldn't, and after another outburst stormed off.

Our team went on to pound her team into the ground (they get to take her average at 100%, which is probably better than she would have gotten anyway), with me throwing the high triple of the season and was one bad box away from a 400 series. During the night several people came over and apologized to me because I had to put up with her craziness the last couple of weeks, and hoped it wouldn't keep us away next season. It won't, trust me on that.

What I am most proud of is my team, not for standing up for me, but for not letting the drama destroy what was a pretty fun year. I'm also proud of them because we didn't let it get to us, and over the last three weeks went from fighting to stay out of last place to ending up in fourth place and over .500 on the year after bowling so badly over a third of the season.

[Fiona] One of Those Days

Did you ever wake up and just know that it was going to be one of those days? Well this morning I just knew it was gonna be a day to remember. Most mornings I shrug it off and I must say that I did try to shake off that,"it is gonna be a shitty day feeling" but to no avail.

Today was not a stellar day. One of my dad's older brothers passed away. The water return on our toilet is leaking like an open wound. The bathroom sink is clogged. Oh yeah, I almost forgot I got stung by a bee about an hour ago. I take an allergy pill everyday but not today. I forgot.

Shrek and I never made it to work even though we went through all the motions to get us there. Like I said I just had a feeling this morning and about three quarters of the way to work...bam...car malfunction! Shrek and I called out of work from the side of the road and called our repair guy straight up! Well at least I can say that this part of our day turned out quite well as it was a small repair and not a piggy bank breaker,yippee!

I called my galpal earlier this evening as I needed a venting session followed by coffee. My gal pal and I try to walk her neighborhood at least once a week. It gets her away from her 4 wee ones and it gets me out of Shrek's way. I look foward to our walks as we chat about the stuff going on in our lives and we usually have a good laugh. We had just gotten back to her house when that stupid bee stung me! Somehow a bee landed on my left thumb and stung me at the knuckle.I was so angry. I actually yelled at the bee. "I can't believe you have the balls to attack me, you stupid bee! I've had a craptastic day! WTF!" I killed him. I am not sorry!

It is a damn wonderful thing that my galpal lives around the corner from a pharmacy! I placed a call to my MIL,nurse person, and asked her what I should do. I think the last time I was stung by a bee my stepdaughter was like ten years old. I have to honestly tell you I had no idea if I were allergic or not. A quick benadryl caplet and ice at sting location and I am just starting to feel better. The ice has returned my hand to a normal size. Thank you medication.

I felt this day was blog worthy and I am happy? to report that supper has not been an exception. I made Shrek chicken fingers and fries. I think it is only fair to tell you that as I prepared to put the fries into fry the bag split open from the bottom and I lost more than a few to the floor and trash bin! I am going to bed, bewitched,bothered and bewildered! I am through with you day!

[Shrek] Just being goofy...

[Fiona] Tuesdays with Papa George

I try never to brag about my mad bowling skills. In truth, I am just mad because I suck at this New England favorite way to spend an evening. Shrek and I bowl on a couples' league in the summer. He always says it is for fun, but you know that's a crock. It can get pretty cut throat.

To me the best part of Tuesday nights in the summer is stopping at Papa George's Pizza for a nosh before we go off bowling. Papa George's Pizza is located at 351 June Street in Worcester, Ma. It is owned by Stephanie and Panagiotis (aka Peter) Stratos.

Sometimes it is more than just about the food that you get at a favorite spot. First, let me say that the marinated chicken is the best I have ever had anywhere, any place. Trust me, I eat a lot of chicken so I would know. What I love about this place is the love that they put into their business. Stephanie and Peter are very picky about the ingredients that get used in the making of their masterpieces. Pizza, fish and chips, grinders, calzones, salads, chicken wings, homemade baklava , cookies, ice cream novelties. They have it all and do it all so well. Drop in sometime, place an order, get to know the folks. I know you will go back again and again. It is that good.

Going for food here tugs at my heart. It reminds me of going home to family. There is a mix of bickering, laughing, good times, great food, and people you love to be with. We are always welcomed with open arms and questions about our general well being. I ask you when was the last time you went out to eat and someone cared about how you have been?

Just recently Stephanie and Peter went to Greece for three weeks to be with their family.Waiting for them to return was like waiting for Christmas. Sheer torture. I am not great at waiting, especially when I know that something great is waiting for me to sink my teeth into. While they were out of country Shrek and I went to Elsa's Bushel and Peck...ok but not the same. Food without a proper dose of love is...feed.

[Shrek] Reunions, part deux

As I tell just about everyone, I am terrible at recognizing people. I am forever asking Fiona "is that so-and-so?" or "how do we know that person?". I'm even worse with names. People think I call folks "buddy" or "pal" because I'm friendly, but it's really because I don't have a freakin' clue what the person's name is. So for me to remember someone from more than twenty years ago would certainly be an odd occurrence.

But for me to remember that person's husband...well, you can't even get odds on that from Vegas.

Several weeks ago Fiona and I were in White Hen Pantry after work getting a soda when the older gentleman walked in. The light bulb went off in my head--I knew that I should know who this person was, but as usual, I couldn't place the face. So, I took my next usual step, I asked Fiona who it was. She had no idea.

I just presumed I was wrong and didn't know the person, so while Fiona was gabbing with the girls behind the counter I went out to the car. As I was walking out to the car I passed another car, and thought I recognized the person in the passenger seat. Seeing as the driver's side window was open (and she was parked next to my car), I asked if she had been a teacher at South High.

She quickly said she had been, and we spoke for a few minutes. Not shockingly, at first she didn't remember me, but after mentioning a few of the people in the class she even remembered the table I sat at during vertebrae anatomy class I had her for.

I jokingly mentioned how bad I am with names and faces, and the oddity that I would recognize her husband--a person I'd met just twice, the last time in 1986. At this point he returned to their car and mentioned that we probably had last met at my senior prom (and it was).

Funny thing is, I don't remember much from my prom night.

I've just recently had another reunion--albeit an virtual one--with someone else I haven't seen in nearly twenty years. When Paul Howley was at That's Entertainment a few weeks ago, we were exchanging information about people each of us hadn't run into in awhile. One of those folks he talked about was a former employee of TE, David Lynch.

One of the things Paul mentioned many times was that David was writing in his blog the story of a friend called My Island, and that I should most certainly check it out. It was supposed to be a six part series, but it had already swollen to many more than that.

So the next morning (Sunday), while Fiona was at Weight Watchers, I started reading the story. It is mindbogglingly good, and I spent much of that morning reading all the parts available. It is an incredibly soul searching collection, free of the gloss that often accompanies stories where the writer plays a major role.

I don't want to give too much away, and I urge everyone to read it.

David is currently on chapter 23, but THIS LINK will take you to chapter one. For other chapters, simply click on the purple arrow next to "June" in his blog for a list of the other chapters. You should also read the comments (and leave one if you'd like)...there's some lighthearted stuff that offsets some of the darkness.

I left a comment for David after one of his posts, and after he's finished with the story I'll run him off an e-mail to really catch up. If there's one lesson I've learned in life, it's never interrupt a writer when he's busy.

[Shrek] Reunions, part un

Now to the topic I wanted to write about last time...and it's turned out to be way too long for one post, so I'm splitting it into two parts.

A couple weeks ago John and Kile came up from Virginia for the weekend. There was a mention at TotalCon in February that we should all get together in the summer for a day of playing D&D or whatever else we decided on. So right after the convention e-mails went around trying to pick a good weekend for the possible get together to take place. We settled on the weekend of July 18-20.

So Kile and John drove up from Virginia on that Friday, and after checking into their hotel gave us a call to begin Friday's festivities. Our predetermined plan was pretty straightforward; we'd pick them up at their hotel, head on over to Scott & Jadira's house, and then off to dinner at Joey's Bar and Grill on Mill Street. (Joey's is currently working on a web site, so here's a link to Fiona's mention of them in her Large Marge blog: Where everybody knows our name.)

After enjoying some still warm focaccia with a house blend olive oil with herbs and Parmesan cheese to dip into, and pre-dinner cocktails (Fiona got her standard--a coffee. She loves their coffee so much we've gone out of our way some late afternoons to sit at the bar so she could enjoy a cup or four), our dinners were served.

John and I got the Chicken Pepperoni, Scott got the Caesar salad, and after a bowl of Clam Chowder (in my opinion, the best you can get in the city) Kile got a shrimp dish that was one of the nightly specials. Jadira ordered the "All American" burger, and as usual Trish went "off the menu" with her modified Joey's Salad and "Weight Watcher friendly" baked haddock with lightly sauteed summer squash and zucchini. Fiona and I didn't get dessert, but everyone else did. Based on what was said every dish tasted just as great as it looked.

As it has been every time we've gone there, everything was perfect at Joey's. John and Kile are both looking forward to a return trip on their next visit. As an aside, if you're looking for a quiet place for a drink (including the previously mentioned coffee or any other non-alcohol fare) and a snack--go to Joey's, sit at the bar, and order the onion rings or sweet potato fries. Heck, get them both...and add those things to the list of "best you can get in the city".

After dinner we walked down a couple of doors to the candlepin bowling alley. Being from the area, John was very familiar with candlepin. Kile, being from Kentucky, had no idea what it was about. We all had a good time bowling and hanging out, and as all of our luck is, finished and left the building in the middle of a intense downpour.

Saturday Fiona and Jadira went to Salisbury beach (look down one post for how well that turned out), while the rest of us were joined by Pinhead (yes, that is Mike's chosen, preferred, and well honored nickname) and Wes Carpenter for a day of D&D, that (as expected) turned into mostly hanging out and joking around with each other.

Throw in a BBQ lunch and chicken dinner and we had ourselves a pretty nice day.

Sunday was supposed to be the day the John and Kile spent with John's parents, and so it was...until early evening when Kile called asking if Fiona and I had eaten dinner yet, apparently looking for some "fun" people to hang out with after all day with family. We hadn't eaten, and quickly took them up on their offer to go out to dinner for some "bonus" get together time.

Our attempt to go to Pub 99 failed miserably as the dinnertime line was almost out the door. So we decided to go to Steve's Pizzeria instead, which as it turns out was more what John was looking for versus a "real" sit down meal. (Steve's doesn't have a website, so we'll head back to Fiona's Large Marge blog for more info: Steve's Pizzeria

For those that have never been to Steve's, they have the largest grinders I'm aware of anywhere around here. They are so large that Kile ordered a small meatball grinder and took half home. John got the steak and cheese (just the way I order it too--just steak, cheese, and mayo), I got the chicken salad, and Fiona got a salad topped with grilled chicken. We added fries and onion rings to the mix, and when the folks at Steve's heard we'd brought friends from Virginia in, the threw in some nicely toasted and buttered garlic bread.

We finished the evening hanging out at their hotel for a while enjoying the conversation. When Fiona and I arrived back home, there was a phone message from Ray looking to confirm potential plans for when he and Kathy are up in September. Unfortunately due to computer issues I had to cut that conversation short, but I suspect we'll be enjoying some fine dinning somewhere while they're up.

And, at least for now, I don't need Ray to repair my computer.

Part deux will follow soon, and includes some reunions with folks I haven't seen in twenty years or more...

[Fiona] What?

Ok,Ok...I know I need to post otherwise people think I have given up on sharing my little insights on the crazy things that surround my life. Fear not I am still out and about viewing the insanity of the living. I guess I just haven't been feeling like there was anything I really needed to comment about. Shrek has been at me about my lack of posting and so here I sit trying to wax poetic. Looks like I failed my pilot check. I am in a summer slump I guess.

Last weekend my galpal(two of her kiddos), myself,and a friend of ours went to Salisbury Beach. Shame on you town of Salisbury! Gross! How do you get people to come in for a visit? Kidnap them? Nothing like cruisin' by life on glory days gone by.

Shrek was surprised that we were adventuring out to Salisbury Beach. He tried to warn me. Amusement park...gone. Cute shops...gone. Beach side pizza...has seen better days. I need to say that the state park and camp grounds were nice enough. My galpal had secured a day pass from our local library and so when we got to the state grounds we got to park for free. I was very happy with our day at the state park. I was just disappointed with what has become of Salisbury public beach.



When was the last time that the governing town officials ventured out to... the police department at the public beach? I mean come on. Am I the only one to be surprised that the public men and women's bathrooms are interconnected? I was afraid to go in and use the bathroom NOT just because it was filthy but because there should never be MEN in the LADIES bathroom!!



I was not surprised to see some of the trash come off the beach. It went walking by under the influence of whatever. What moves a person to get stupid and screwed up on a hot day?

Maybe I am naive but whatever happened to family day at the beach? Where is your pride? I would lie about where I lived if I were unfortunate enough to have to live in town. You seem happy enough to take my tourist dollar... please put some of it back into your community. You could have a beautiful boardwalk and shops if you just would put in the effort. How about better public bathrooms? Find reasons to make people want to visit.

[Shrek] Reformat

This is not what I intended my next post to be about.

This was supposed to be about last weekend's get together with friends John and Kile from Virginia, segueing into a Labor Day get together with Ray Conrad, and then finally mentioning...well, I'll leave that for when I make the post, probably Wednesday.

But what happened instead was I needed to reformat my computer after being hit with a Trojan Horse.

I'm not 100% sure how my computer became infected by it because my machine is buttoned up pretty tightly, but after about five days of fighting it I became 100% sure I was losing the battle.

The final straw was when, ironically enough, I was talking to Ray after having dinner with John and Kile last Sunday night. He had left a message on our machine confirming our potential Labor Day reunion (well, technically the weekend after), and as I returned his call my firewall was turned off by the infection while I watched. I decided to quickly remove my PC from my network.

At that point I went from trying to snipe at it file by file to deciding to use the nuclear weapon of wiping the hard drive totally clean. But even in making that decision, I still faced a small hurdle. My CD drive was broken, and had been for some time. I'd tell you how long it had been broken, but I don't recall. It was long enough for Ray to have offered to fix it; not the last time he was up in Worcester, but the time previous.

Yeah, that long.

Monday morning the first thing I did was pull the old one out to make sure I was competent enough to put a new one in. After seeing how easy the removal was I was already shaking my head about not doing this earlier.

So at 8:30am, Fiona and I went off to the Circuit City at The Shoppes at Blackstone Valley in Millbury, Mass. We arrived just before 9am to find out--SURPRISE!!!--Circuit City opens at 10am. We thought it was odd that it opened so late, but as we hadn't had breakfast we decided to head over to the McDonald's on Rt20 at the Millbury/Worcester line to grab a cup of coffee and a breakfast sandwich.

As we drive up to the intersection just before the McDonald's we find out--SURPRISE!!!--that particular McDonald's is under renovations and closed. We both just looked at each other and started to laugh. So much for a quick, painless trip.

We ended up going to the Golden Arches across from the newly rebuilt Auburn High School, where we know some folks from our weekly stop there Thursday evenings after bowling. Of course, despite many of them usually working the occasional morning shift none of them are working that particular morning.

After we ate and returned to Circuit City, where we were helped by two really great employees that answered all my silly questions, including one that said the replacement was going to be a very easy thing. He was right, it was very easy. So easy I am still kicking myself for not fixing it earlier. That fact I have since used it very little not withstanding.

As I had already saved all the files/pictures I wanted, all I needed to do was begin the reformat process. Having done this several times on older computers, and on other people's machines when they had issues, I knew that it is seldom a pain-free process. But with a little patience it usually all works out in the end.

And so it did, but as I'm not really that patient a person there was some cursing involved before it all worked out fine. Of course, even when things do work out fine there is usually some cursing, so I guess nothing truly out of the ordinary happened.

Now come the painfully slow process of downloading all the Window's updates and various programs I had installed before nuking the hard drive. I didn't realize how many I had until earlier this week when I figured I was less than a third done recapturing all that info. Five days later, I'm still only two thirds done.

And--SURPRISE!!!--there has been more cursing involved.

[Shrek & Fiona] A "not so brief" update

We've both been meaning to make an update post but we just haven't gotten around to it until now.

Firstly, jury duty...the guy was--SURPRISE!!!--found guilty of all charges. I forgot to copy the guy's name down, but it doesn't matter that much. He'll be a guest of the Commonwealth for the next 20 years or so. A brief mention in the Telegram mentioned that he'll be facing additional charges in Connecticut soon, with any potential sentence to be served there after his time here is served.

We were both on vacation the week of July 4th, and spent the first couple days running some of the errands that had piled up over the last few weeks. We dubbed Tuesday "Hell Day" as Fiona had to go to the RMV for a new license picture, I had to go to my doctor's office for some blood work, and we capped the afternoon off with a trip to the dentist. All three errands were completed almost painlessly.

Thursday was Fiona's birthday, so we celebrated by going to breakfast at Eller's on the Hill, a breakfast place in Cherry Valley on Stafford St. Our usual breakfast place, Bickford's, closed a while back and one of our favorite waitresses from there went to work at Eller's, so we "followed" here there.

We didn't do much the rest of Thursday, and late in the afternoon went to dinner at Chuck's Steak House on route 20 in Auburn. It has one of the best salad bars around (all you can eat, too), and Fiona filled up on soup and salad and could barely touch her chicken-kabobs. I had no issue finishing my prime rib despite a couple salad bar trips.

We had planned to go to the Tornadoes game Thursday night, but with the heat and humidity we decided to pass on the game. Good thing too, because as were were driving on I-290 past Fitton Field it started to rain. It rained so hard that despite having the tarp over the infield they had to call off the game because the field was unplayable.

We spent the Fourth at a cookout at my uncle's house, catching up with family I hadn't seen in awhile. As is the custom at Hunt family gatherings, there was more food than an entire army could eat. Fiona ate lots of veggies. I ate lots of meat, potato salad, and desserts. Together we added up to a couple of well balanced meals.

There wasn't much going on last week, at least nothing worth mentioning. We did spend a portion of Saturday at That's Entertainment catching up with Paul Howley. Paul only gets to the store a couple times a year so we make sure to have nothing planned for the day he's at the Worcester store.

It's funny, despite not seeing each other much it's just like the old days when we saw each other just about every day. A few other of the "old timers" dropped by and it was just like old times.

Conversations eventually turned to blogs, and Paul mentioned Cousin Steve had one (for the record, "Cousin Steve" is Paul's cousin). Steve owns a store in Waltham called The Outer Limits--which I would have linked to had his store had a website--and writes a blog called "I Ain't No Oprah", which Paul said to check out. I did, and now it's linked in the right column.

Next weekend will be another reunion when John and Kile come up from Virginia for the weekend. We'll be joined by some other TotalCon friends for what hopefully will be a fun day.

[Shrek] Jury Duty

Last Monday I had the chance to take my turn at jury duty. I suppose I shouldn't complain as I hadn't been chosen for jury duty in over 12 years, but it really is one of those things I want no part of.

Now I understand that it is my civic duty to perform the task of jury duty, and I understand how important it is for the judicial system as a whole that folks serve on juries. The Massachusetts Constitution, largely written by John Adams, uses the word "sacred" just once. That's the word Adams used to described a person's right to a trial by jury of his peers. The fact that such a great man used that word to describe the process is proof enough that I should be much more enthusiastic about participating in it.

But alas, I just can't get that fired up about it.

My day began with Fiona dropping me off in front of the new courthouse here in Worcester, and with the memories of how terrible it was to navigate the old courthouse I was already grumbling my displeasure at the thought of trudging through a building I didn't want to be in looking for a room I didn't want to go to.

Luckily, they hired moderately smart architects. The Jury Room, which is on the third floor, is clearly visible from the entrance. After passing through security--which consisted of a young male security officer flirting with a young female security officer as I passed through a metal detector--it was just a minute or so of walking up staircases to get to the Jury Room. I saw signs for elevators, but as I didn't need them I didn't look to see where they actually were.

I intentionally got there early so I wouldn't have to wait in line at the Jury Room, and when I got to the room there was a few people already seated but no one waiting to check in. As I walked up to the desk the Court Officer greeted me with an unexpected smile and took my paperwork. He game me my juror number, #80 (it's on a piece of paper you're asked not to lose), told me to take a seat, and that there would be a presentation at 8:30am.

So I took a seat against the windows and started reading my book, Misconceptions by O.J. Simpson lawyer Robert Shapiro and Walt Becker. It's a suspense/thriller courtroom drama around the topic of abortion. It was pretty good...I recommend it if you find a remaindered copy.

So at 8:30am they play this presentation on the four mounted HD televisions about what you can expect during the day. The presentation is on video tape, which when you figure the HDTVs, makes little sense. Something that makes even less sense? The street in front of the courthouse was paved over before the cable TV wires could be run into the building.

I was tempted to discern what John Adams would have thought about that, but chose instead to continue reading.

In case you hadn't heard, there is no cafeteria in the new courthouse. So around 9am a coffee cart was pushed in for the jurors to purchase coffee, doughnuts, juice, etc., for a "nominal fee". Apparently my definition of "nominal fee" and theirs is a little different, and I chose to not plunk down higher than Dunkin' Donuts prices for smaller servings than you'd get at my favorite coffee place.

After reading for a while I got up and stretched a little, and after looking around suddenly something hit me. Nearly every person in the room was white. There we no African-Americans and no Asians, and there was only one person I could easily identify as being Hispanic. Not exactly reflective of the populace of any urban area I'm aware of.

Around 10am they called for Jurors #1 to #56 to go into Superior Court for jury selection. Within a half hour people not chosen for that jury slowly filtered back to the Jury Room. Somewhere around 11:30am they took Jurors #57 to #79 (anyone remember my number?) into District Court, and like before, folks that weren't chosen came back to the Jury Room. Knowing that lunch is at 1pm, and with the time approaching 12:30, I figured we were getting to the point of being home free.

Wrong. At exactly 12:30 every remaining juror was sent to Superior Court for jury selection. I figured it had to be something big because there was around 75 of us in the room. And big it was. Let's just say the victim was a child and the Defendant was a 50ish year old man.

Yeah, exactly what you're thinking...and now I know I really want no part of this. And then the judge says the trial could last until Friday...I really, really want no part of this.

At 1:25pm when we broke for lunch they had finally gotten 14 jurors seated--#76 was the last one seated. Because it was raining very heavily I called Fiona and asked her to bring me lunch because there was no chance I could get anywhere without getting soaked. When she arrived we drove around the block a couple of times as I ate.

As we talked, Fiona reminded me that we had a doctor's appointment Thursday afternoon. I'm glad she did that, because I had forgotten.

When we returned to the Jury Room at 2:25 and sat there for awhile, we were again brought into the same courtroom. I was wondering why they were doing that when it suddenly hit me--both sides could still challenge jurors! I wasn't home free like I thought, and was in fact going to be up to be seated in the next few minutes.

When my number was called I went to sidebar like everyone before me and was asked a couple questions by the judge. When I mentioned I had a doctor's appointment for Thursday, he asked me if I could produce an appointment card. I told him all I had to do was call Fiona and I could have one in his hand within 20 minutes.

I was excused! WOOHOO!!!!

When I got back to the Jury Room the Court Officer scanned my number and told me I was free to go. He didn't need to tell me twice, and I was quickly out of there.

So I'm free for at least the next three years. Far too soon if you ask me.

I've also checked the Telegram every day since to see if the trial was mentioned, but so far it hasn't been. Notice I didn't say "to see of he was found guilty", because I saw him sitting there behind his lawyers. I have no doubt he was guilty.

So much for his "sacred" right to trial by jury, eh?

[Shrek] Thanks for the mammaries

In the past couple weeks I've had a couple topics I wanted to share with folks but so far hadn't gotten around to it yet. But after yesterday one of those subjects popped up again, so I guess it was a signal that I should spend a few minutes and talk about them.

I like breasts.

I have always been a breast man, and make no apologies about it. I never judge a woman by the size or shape of her breasts, and I'm not one of those testosterone driven morons that stares at a woman's chest while having a conversation with them.

Fiona knows I'm a breast man and is very amused by it, even occasionally laughingly pointing out a pair that are worthy of such notice. Usually that "notice" is when the woman is wearing something inappropriate for the size of her bosoms. Or, in some cases, not wearing.

Fiona and I were in Target recently during the early June heat wave, shopping for some shirts for her as she had very few summer-weight tops. Well, perhaps more correctly, she was shopping and I was enjoying the store's air conditioning.

As I'm standing there feigning interest in the stuff Fiona is looking at, two college age girls come strolling by with their puppies running free. Observant as I am I noticed immediately, and determined they were the perfect size to be allowed to roam leash-less. They also decided to look at the same displays Fiona was looking at and were in my through line, so my interest became slightly less "feigned".

(For those that don't know what a "through line" is, it's the imaginary path that a golf ball would travel on should the putted ball go past the hole; or the path of continued trajectory of a bullet fired that missed its target. This will come as no shock that guys use it all the time to obscure what they're really looking at.)

Unfortunately, also in my through line was two older women of a slightly larger size that also decided on the hot day to let their doggies run free. They also both chose to wear tops that were not really conducive to folks that are not in decent physical shape. It was not a pretty sight.

So, as a person that has spent a lot of time noticing boobs of all types and sizes, allow me to make an observation for you that might help when choosing what to wear when going out:

If you're college aged and in shape, let the puppies run free. If your child is college aged or you're not in shape so much, tie those doggies down. Please.

Now about yesterday.

Fiona and I went to a cookout/graduation party for the daughter of a woman Fiona went to school with. As one would expect at such a gathering, there were several recent high-school graduates--all girls--along with a couple "drinking age" girls that are friends of the graduate's older sister.

Not knowing anyone at the party and not really seeing any group of folks I'd fit in with, I basically stayed close to Fiona, who herself only really knew a couple of folks at the party. We stayed in the kitchen area, mostly because that's where Fiona's friend spent most of her time preparing stuff during the party. The gaggle of girls was also there, but for except when they went into a mass-giggle they weren't really doing anything to attract attention to themselves.

After a while a friend of the host's shows up with his room mate. He's an older (50ish) gay man that we had met last year at a housewarming party, and is a very funny person that makes no bones about his sexual orientation. He is a touch "stereotypical" (although, aren't we all in one way or another?), and plays that up using humor. He's one of the few people I've met that I've actually thought would make a great stand up comic.

But at one point it got a little creepy.

Despite being a connoisseur of breasts, I think it would be a little odd for me to be starting a discussing of a girl's breasts when she's younger than my daughter. It just seems like one of those topics an older male--gay or not--probably shouldn't be bringing up addressing a group of young girls. Never mind doing it twice. I know I'm a pig when it comes to breasts, but I at least exercise a little discretion about it.

Although we did find out that one of the drinking aged girls--who was already "well served" at this point--had bosoms sized 36G (which I had guessed correctly in my mind) and has uneven nipples (even The Amazing Kreskin would have been lucky to guess that). She did have the common sense to tie those doggies up, although that may have been out of necessity as she may have fallen over forward had she not.

[Fiona] Father's Day

For anyone who has ever had to take care of a relative my deepest respect goes out to you. June 11th was the first anniversary of my mother's passing. It still sounds strange to me and some days I feel like the phone is going to ring and she will be at the other end crabby or laughing or in whatever mood she needs to share with me. It has been an odd year for myself and my dad. I have an older sister who lives in NY but her visits here are limited as she has her own issues to deal with and illness.

Dad and I do the best we can with what we have to work with. Sometimes he thinks it is Saturday all week long. At times he makes me chuckle with his antics and sometimes I cry. The best memories of my dad live in my head...young,strong,vital. He is not so strong anymore and not so young. He is more likely to remember fifteen years ago then this morning but he is my dad and I love him more than I am sure I can ever convey to him. I try to live for today and not think about a time that will someday come when I will have to be in this world without him.

It frustrates me that I can't make things "all better". Today is Father's Day. Tell the people in your life while they can hear it that you love them. I tell my dad every time he calls me, every time I see him, every time I need to. Dad I love you.

[Shrek] On to baseball...

With the New England Surge playing the last game of their regular season and the team opting to play its opening playoff game on the road, it appears that the Surge won't be playing another game this season in Worcester. Or if the rumors are true, maybe ever.

So now it's officially baseball season in Wormtown, and Fiona and I will be taking in our first game Saturday when the Sharks Boosters invade Fitton Field. We're doing the "all you can eat" cookout before the game. While Fiona won't be taking full advantage of the chow line, you can bet I'll be having enough for the both of us. When you consider what food and drink costs at a ball game, the $25 cost of the meal/tickets is a steal.

I used to be a huge baseball fan, but in the last few years I have become a little bored with the attitude major leaguers have. The fact that free agency has killed major league baseball to the point where it's the same teams every season adds to my boredom. Sure it's cool when the Red Sox win, but all things being equal I'd like to see how well they or the Yankees could do if there were a salary cap.

Actually, seeing how poorly the Bronx Bombers are doing this season with the highest payroll one has to think they can't do any worse with a lower one.

That's one of the reasons I like the Tornadoes so much. It's a bunch of guys playing hard for the love of the game. Can't ask for more for your money.

If you're interested in talking about the Tornadoes, you can go to tornadoes.mordel.net.

[Shrek & Fiona] Our date...

Fiona and I went on date Thursday afternoon, and we'd thought it would be fun to blog about it. As determined by a coin flip, Fiona fires first.

[Fiona: Afternoon Delight]
On Thursday of this past week Shrek and I ditched work in the early afternoon to escape into the cool dark of our local movie theatre and catch a flicker. Shrek and I have been together for a long time. We try to keep our relationship young and alive by doing things together. Sometimes it is just playing video games together, sometimes it might be going out to eat, or well you know married things that involve lingerie.

Shrek knows that I am a huge Harrison Ford fan so I have been dying to see the new Indiana Jones movie. I have to inject one thing here. Before our adventure could begin in earnest I first had to drop my laptop off at the local witch doctors to have its little ass kicked back into the world of the living. So after my laptop was safe off to the doctor's, Shrek and I were off to find a quick nosh and then to the movie house. We decided on our local 99 Restaurant. I will not bore you with the facts of our meal; suffice it to say it was hot and tasty and not too expensive.

Ahh, now to the movie. First in the fair city of Worcester a matinee costs $7.50. OUCH! Shrek and I paid the ransom to get in but skipped the popcorn and drinks seeing that our rent was due in a few days and, well, what can I say about the price of gas that you fair readers don't already know? We took seats in the back row...make out alley.

Remember when previews were fun to watch? I wish someone would tell me when they became commercials. It is a pain in the ass to have to wait for this schlock to scroll by. Yippee finally the opening scenes. The familiar music begins. I went into this movie with no expectations, except for the one I keep in my heart for my sweetie Harrison. I must say he has aged well.

The movie was fun to watch. It had everything about an Indiana Jones movie that I love and a bit more. It wasn't perfect and the story line had a few slow to should have been cut scenes but the refrigerator scene and the car/boat chase scene were well worth the price of admission.

[Shrek: We named the dog "Indiana"]
Fiona and I did something Thursday we don’t do very often--we went to a movie somewhere other than the West Boylston Cinemas. We went to Showcase North, and the movie we saw was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

We’re spoiled by our favorite movie house because we’re used to going to a movie, getting a couple fifty-five gallon drums of Diet Coke, and ordering a dumpster full of hot freshly popped popcorn for under $20. Spending $7.50 each just to get into a movie--and a matinee at that--is completely foreign to us.

I am a huge fan of the Indian Jones movies, and when it was announced years ago that there would be a fourth installment in the series with all the major principals involved I knew there would be no chance I would miss it.

One would think that a sixty-five year old Harrison Ford would have issues pulling off the swashbuckling Indian Jones again, but Ford jumped back into the role seamlessly. The return of Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood from Raiders of the Lost Arc and the additions of Shia LaBeouf as “Mutt” Williams and the legendary John Hurt as Harold Oxley round out the cast of good guys.

Cate Blanchett also stars as Irina Spalko, a Russian agent looking for more crystal skulls. Ray Winstone rounds out the major players as George “Mac” McHale, and you’ll need a score card to keep up with whose side he’s on at any given moment. And as with the first three installments, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was directed by Steve Spielberg and the executive producer is George Lucas.

With all those cards in play it’s hard to think they could have made a film that’s so...average.

With the film set twenty years after The Last Crusade, Spielberg and Lucas have abandoned the 1930’s serial style the first three films used and embraced the B-movie style that was prevalent in the era The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is set in. It may have worked for a different character, but it didn’t work for Indiana Jones.

The previous Indiana Jones movies all follow the same basic formula--chases, followed by more chases, followed by even more chases. The action between those chases was really only a buildup to the next chase scene until reaching the end of the movie, which was an escape of the main characters from whatever evil had developed throughout the movie. The problem with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull there aren't enough chase scenes, and the escape scene at the end really left a lot to be desired. Also noticeably absent from the film is a staple of the franchise, the comedic banter. The earlier films had many “laugh out loud” lines, which is something The Kingdom of the Crystal is sorely lacking.

Like the other films, the story was pretty straight forward. The problem was it wasn’t very compelling. Never once did I really care about those crystal skulls, and the lack of any explanation as to why they had mystical powers--even after finding out what the skulls really were-- made them even less interesting. Now add the fact the humor the Indiana Jones scripts are known for was for the most part missing and what you have a film that missed its mark.

Had this been a movie that had nothing to do with the Indiana Jones franchise it might rank a little higher, but as with any sequel Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull needs to be compared to the movies that came before it in the series, and it falls short in comparison.

[Fiona] NCIS

I love this show. Today Shrek and I have been watching a marathon of the series. I wish I could be Abby. Way back in the day before Goth was a culture I wore black. I wore it more because I felt like it personified who I thought I was. Dark and guarded. I was very angry growing up. I didn't have a lot of friends on purpose and I wished away more days on being grown up than living my life or making life plans.

The character Abby is someone I wish I could have been ...cute, intelligent, well dressed (in the Goth sense of the word) and the holder of one of the coolest jobs I have ever seen portrayed on TV. Then again when I was a kid I wanted to be Ginger from Gilligan's Island.

I am happy to say that now I just want to be me.I am cute, intelligent ,dressed well and ok so my job leaves a lot to be desired but it pays the bill. Now that I have lost weight I am trying to find out what I really like and want. Last week I went out to our local Target and I bought myself two skorts. Black skirts;one over pink shorts and the other over tiger stripes. Shrek liked them alot...bonus for me if you get my drift*** ;^)

[Fiona] It's Called Laundry, People

Shrek hates going to the laundromat. I used to laugh at him. Shrek always used to say that he hated stupid people until one day he realized that he just hates everyone pretty much the same, stupid or not. Sort of cynical and yet so true and freeing. Sometimes Shrek goes with me to the laundry. It is usually when I am sick or I am feeling really overwhelmed by the sheer volume of clothes that need to get washed.

Shrek and I live on the third floor with no laundry hookups but our rent is "wicked cheap" so I go out to do the wash. The problem that I have is other people. Why do people feel the need to comment about my mound of clothes? I swear if I have to explain to one more nosy person about my laundry I am going to scream. Yes, creepy people I have a lot of laundry what of it? I am getting too old to lug baskets up and down three flights so I save up my dirty clothes...deal with it.

I do my clothes once every two weeks, unless I have a need of some favorite thingy that got dirty or I just feel ambitious. Make no mistake this is the only time I will explain to the general uncaring public about my laundry habits. Thank you very much.

[Shrek] Finished!!!

I have finally finished the (as of now) complete run of Sue Grafton books. It took longer than I expected, mostly because life kept getting in the way of play time.

I hate when that happens.

For folks wondering if they were any good, well, most of them were. The early ones sucked. But as I had the whole run I figured I'd give them a try for at least three or four books before deciding to stop. Luckily C Is for Corpse was one of the good ones, and from that point on they were pretty good.

Now I'm on to The Sundering by Jacqueline Carey, which is a combination of her two novels Banewreaker and Godslayer. Carey writes long books, and The Sundering was so long her publisher broke them into two books. I waited for the Science Fiction Book Club edition, which put them back together.

I don't know what Fiona is reading...perhaps she'll mention it next time.

[Shrek] Just catching up...

The fall bowling season officially ended Friday night with the banquet for my Monday night bowling league. For the first time ever my team won the league championship. We're named "The Wigglers" because our first bowler, Mikey, likes to wildly wiggle his hips like a hula dancer on speed when the pins are rocking back and forth. It's very funny when he does this, and brings a lot of laughs.

In the last week of play we needed to beat the other team 5-3 to win the championship, and after splitting the first two strings we needed just to tie or win the final string to capture the crown. It came down to the last two boxes, where I converted the 5-7-8-9 for a spare and then filled it with an eight. I was bowling against the best bowler in the league, who had one final chance to mark for the win. But when he left the soft 5 in his last box the title was ours.

In my Thursday night league, where my team is called "Valhalla" after a bar that was closed a very long time ago, we fared about as well as we usually do, which was in the middle of the pack. We finished 7th of 12 teams, but had lots of chances to finish in the top five. We just sucked at the wrong times.

The summer league has started, and like last year when we won it's myself, Fiona, Josie (whom I have dubbed TFG for "The Fashion Goddess" on the score sheet), and Rich (Speed). The goal in the summer league is to have fun, and so far, so good.

Fiona and I have been going to the New England Surge games on the weekends. They're the local indoor football team, and they aren't a bad way to kill the weeks between the Sharks and Tornadoes. They're the second best team in their conference, so every home game is usually a win--except against Rochester, which is the best team in the entire league.

We've recently found out that Rochester violates the spirit of the salary cap by having their players work for one of the sponsors of the team, so they're able to pay their players more than is generally allowed. That sponsor has just recently become a part owner after a very public fight, so it will be interesting to see what the CIFL does about the situation.

One of the Worcester Tornadoes free exhibition games is this afternoon, but Fiona and I won't be going as she's currently fighting a cold. On top of that the pollen count super high so she's fighting allergies too. Looks like a good day to watch some stuff we have saved on our DVR.

[Fiona] I Want To Break Free

I am sitting in my livingroom listening to Queen and trying to get over being pissed. I love this song by Queen...I Want To Break Free. It is totally unbelievable to me how crappy a day can go. This morning I went to three different Dunkin' Donuts and left each one sans coffee. Never mind that I got up a little early because Shrek had yet another day off from work but it was also raining and I thought that I would give myself a treat and get a steamin cup of Joe. As things often go I should not have been surprised that my morning didn't go well.

Sometimes I feel like I never get to win, that the Gods whoever they are get a preverse joy out of pissin on my shoes.Just once I wish my life ran like a Disney cartoon. Those always end on an up note. I Want To Break Free.

[Fiona] Overwhelmed

Occassionally I make posts that tie into my other blog. This will be one of those times. I had melt down yesterday. It was over a combination of things. I don't know how Shrek keeps his sense of "come what may" married to me. I get antsy when I feel overwhelmed. Things at work, things at home, my dad, chores, my ongoing weight loss and its separate but equal overwhelming qualities all conspired to push me over the top.

I pace and mutter to myself when I feel stressed. Every single thing I had left to wear in my dresser felt uncomfortable and baggy. Work has been slow and we have had several days of layoff. Gas prices are out of control. Grocery prices are going way up and to be honest I don't know how people with kids do it. I felt like I didn't have the right to go out and buy anything to wear that fit. The more I turned that notion over in my mind the angrier and more frustrated I became. I felt trapped. Irrational I know but hey I never said I made perfect sense, silly.

Shrek asked me what was going on and in true Fiona fashion I danced around the real issue. Shrek is very wise after a few minutes he got up out of his chair and put his strong arms around me and calmed my fears. I went out to our local Target and I am now the proud owner of two pairs of brand new "cheap jeans". All of the clothes that no longer fit me have been bagged up and Shrek and I will be bringing them to a Salvation Army nearby. Sometime in the near future I hope to be at my weight loss goal and spend some time in maintenance land if for no other reason than to just breathe.

[Shrek] I'm Hopelessly Addicted

They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. And not until you have done that can you truly take that first step to recovery. Of course, that presumes the addiction is bad for you and that you need to recover from it.

I am hopelessly addicted to books. Be it mysteries, action/adventure, science fiction, or biographies, it does not matter. I like to read. In fact, I've been known to be reading two or three different books at once. I've even joined an online site where I can download books right to my computer. I simply can't get enough of them.

There, I said it...and boy do I feel better.

All sarcasm aside, the one thing I don't understand is people who DON'T read. I'm not talking about newspapers and magazines, I'm talking about people that haven't picked up a book in years. That makes no sense to me. The world is full of great stories being told that millions of people are totally unaware of because they're too busy watching crap on TV or playing video games to exercise their mind.

A famous question say "Why can't Johnny read?". The answer is pretty clear to me; because Johnny's parents probably never read anything but a newspaper in front of Johnny so the mere concept of books is completely foreign to him.

So do yourself and your children a big favor and go out and get a book or two to read.

Oh, and romance novels don't count.

[Shrek] Excuse Me, But You're In Everyone's Way

Fiona and I went shopping yesterday, making sure to run our errands early before most people's working days have ended and while school is still in session. We prefer to do this because the odds of running into an absolutely clueless person rises exponentially as more people are in the store.

We all know one of the types of clueless person I'm talking about; the one that walks their cart at a snail's pace down the middle of the aisle stopping to study every product even though they have no intention of buying it, making sure to block the progress of everyone behind them as they go from side to side.

You'd think after the 20th person says "excuse me" they'd get the hint they're in the way and maybe should pick a side for their cart, but they won't let anyone ruin that great shopping experience for them.

Or better yet, two friends walking side by side each with their own carts. Add kids or cell phones to the mix and you've got yourself a party.

Another one that gets me is the person going against the flow. Did you not notice that everyone is moving in one direction and you're going in another? Inevitably that person will stop their cart right next to another stopped cart, blocking the aisle in both directions.

And for the folks that don't know this, when the express lane says "10 items or less" or something similar, it doesn't mean your 12 bottles of Pepsi count as one item because it's all the same...IT COUNTS AS 12 ITEMS! The worst offenders of this are the people that buy huge amounts of greeting cards at BJs and go to the express lane because "they're just greeting cards". Yeah, but you got 50 of them. Get your ass in the regular line.

And speaking of BJs, one of the things I like to do when I'm their is browse the table of new books that they have. Why do people feel the need to push their cart right up to the table so no one else can get in to take a look? And why do people do that at the deli too? Are they afraid someone will come by and take stuff out of their cart so they must protect it as if their very lives depended on it?

My time isn't any more valuable than anyone else's. It's also not any less valuable. How about exercising a little courtesy and take up a little less space so folks can go about their business?

There's plenty of room for everyone provided no one takes more than their share.

[Shrek] A hero turns 60

The greatest hockey player ever, Robert Gordon "Bobby" Orr, turned 60 on Friday. It seems like just yesterday that he was on the ice making opponents look like fools. Unfortunately numerous knee surgeries robbed fans of what was sure to be many more years of fantastic play. For those that didn't get to see his greatness first hand there is luckily lots of video.

There is a debate, lead by folks that don't know any better, about who was better: Wayne Gretzky or Bobby Orr. True hockey fans know that Bobby Orr could stop Gretzky from scoring, but there's no way on his best day that that Gretzky could stop Orr.

No one could.





Happy belated birthday Bobby...and here's to many more.

[Fiona] Jelly Beans, Jelly Beans!!!!

Today is Easter! He is risen and there are jelly beans and chocolate rabbits everywhere. I am one of those people who just doesn't understand how a religious moment becomes a commercial. Don't get me wrong I used to enjoy the candy commercial part of this holiday. I just don't understand how both became entwined. I will not pretend that I am well versed in either tradition because I am a nonpracticing Catholic and I do not actively involve myself in holidays.Shrek and I have no wee ones and we are both too grown up for the childlike excitement about candy and gifts,most of the time anyway!

The reason I bring this up? I was over my galpal's last evening. I helped her and her kiddies color eggs. I had fun but what struck me was when her daughter asked why Jesus needed colored eggs? Did it make his egg salad taste better? With the way my brain works, the wheels began to turn. My galpal Jadi is amazing. After the kiddos were securely in bed she pulled all this magical stuff from boxes and bags and assembled each of her children a unique and personal basket of his/her very own. It made me miss the bunny part of my holiday of days gone passed.

In my opinion, for most children waking up on Easter it is not about Jesus rising from the dead. It is about candy and egg hunts and new clothes. It is about going to the grandparents and other relatives for family time and food.

The world is such a commercial place anyway. Hello advertisers? Hello religious leaders? Why can't there be an Easter and an easter? Two separated days, one for Jesus and religious tradition and the other one for the jelly beans and chocolate bunnies. We could do the same thing for Christmas. Win win for everyone invloved. That way children and perhaps parents could finally learn that one has very little to do with the other and more might learn what the real holidays are about. The upside? More time off people!

Happy Easter!

[Fiona] The Opener

The world is made up of all kinds of people. Tall people, fat people, butt ugly...you get my drift. Some women shop, some women gossip, some women bitch and so on. In my lifetime I have been those other types of gal...oh the shopping sprees I have been on and though I hate to say it I gossip (doesn't everyone on some level?) and yes I can bitch with the best of them, just ask Shrek. What I am here to tell you is that I am an opener. That's right I like to open stuff. It matters not to me if it needs to be opened or not. I want to be the one who unwraps the box, or tears open the envelope, cuts the plastic wrap...sets it free. I have no idea why but it makes me so happy!

I feel like Charlie inside that chocolate factory unraveling the mysteries if only I can get to the nougat center. Shrek hates my opening obsession. If I can't open something I become like a little kid. I fidget, I whine, I get anxious. Shrek will tell me to relax that he'll get to it sooner or later. Oh no he won't. I swear he procrastinates over opening his packages, gifts,mail on purpose because he knows how antsy I become. I actually can feel my anger beginning to brim over the top as I sit and wait and wait and wait.

I have to admit that I will not wait for long. I just get to a point and then I open what I need to open. Shrek be damned!! He will get over being mad...Funny thing is that most times as soon as I get said item open I don't really care what is inside, or it doesn't belong to me, or I don't know how to use the item and Shrek needs to take over the lead position. My job afterall is finished I opened it didn't I?

[Shrek] The reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated

Between writing for Sharkspage, getting ready for TotalCon, getting sick (not once, but twice), and just generally being busy, I finally have a few minutes to make a new post. Of course, it literally is just a few minutes, so this won't be very thought provoking and in all probability won't be very long.

On Monday something amusing happened just before bowling. I was looking at the schedule to see who and where I was bowling when another bowler nicknamed "Fitzie" came over to see who he was bowling. He asked me the date. All I could do was look at him in awe. After a few moments I managed to get out "Hey Fitzie, what date do you think it is?" He started at me blankly for a moment or two, smacked himself in the head and laughed, and walked away.

You'd have thought a guy named Fitzgerald would have the date of St. Patrick's Day committed to memory.

Another story...a few Saturdays ago Fiona and I, along with a busload of Worcester Sharks boosters, went to Albany to see the Sharks play. We've been there before, and have a favorite pub we like to go to right across from the arena. Well, in the month between visits there the pub had changed hands and was now a "fine dining" restaurant.

I think the next time we go to Albany it will have changed hands again as the menu was pretty pathetic for a place directly across from an arena. Plus the fact that the waitress screwed up my and Josie's beer order isn't a good sign either. We both ordered a Bass draught, and the waitress brought over Sam's Winter. Not even close to the same thing.

So we bailed out of there and to a place attached to the Times Union Center whose name I don't remember. The place is pretty full of River Rats fans, so we get the "evil eye" as we walked in. We found a table and one of the friendlies waitresses I have ever seen came over and welcomed us and gave us the "lay of the land" as it was.

As were were enjoying our drinks a guy walked up to us because we were wearing Sharks gear and talked to us for a good ten minutes or more about the the trip from Worcester and how it was his first AHL game in many years. The conversation went from sports to our respective cites and everything in between. It was like the old days when people could sit at a bar and have a drink or two and folks would find something in common to talk about for the few moments their lives interacted with each other.

It's stuff like that helps restore your faith in humanity.

I'm currently reading Sue Grafton's series (A is for Alibi; B is for Burglar, etc...). The first couple are pretty bad, but they get better quickly. My goal was to get caught up to her latest book by the end of February. I failed, mostly due to a lack of time. I just started L is for Lawless. Maybe I'll get to them all by summer.

For those with HBO, check out the John Adams miniseries. It airs on Sunday nights, and the first two have already aired so look for them "on demand". It's the best thing on TV in a long time, and now I wished I had DVR'd them all before watching the first two. The wait for number three is killing me.

Patience has never been something I was good at.

[Fiona] Will It Ever End??? ...

that is to say winter. Oh lordie I am so over with this winter. I feel like I am going to lose my shit today. I had to go to work this morning. I awoke to rain and wind and flurries! No more with the snow, enough already!!!! Spring gods where are you?
I long for warmer days and sunshine. Colors of green and gold and purple will fill the world.I wonder if anyone has ever figured out why a New England winter has to be so damned grey. I am running out of patience. I thought that by now I would be tooling around town sans outerwear or maybe I could get away with wearing a light jacket. I want to be able to put on sandals and shorts and go to a baseball game. Since I am on a rant; how nice would it be to just go for a stroll without boots,hat,mittens,scarf,heavy coat. My mother used to get melancholy over Spring's arrival and I thought she was weird. I would kill to see a crocus right now! Or as my mom would say just one dumb daffodil! Just maybe mom wasn't so weird afterall.

[Fiona] SNOW DAY! STORM DAY!

Shrek and I called out of work today. It is not something that I am ever overly proud about. However, I am on the oldish side and no longer find winter weather,i.e,storms to be fun or exciting. My bones are old and thus I wish to keep them in one piece and not several little shattered fragments. I used to be adventurous. So much so that Shrek would often say that I needed to learn my limits and live within those limits. A sentiment I hated to hear.

A few years ago I broke my leg in a fall on ice. Not fun at all. It cured my winter wonderland enthusiasm. I call out of work for crappy weather. Life is to short. I am not a surgeon or lawyer or other important must go to work profession. I work in retail.

[Fiona] The Subject of Tomorrow

It used to be that I couldn't wait for tomorrow. The close of each day meant a new beginning...tomorrow. Tomorrow always brought me hope one more chance to get things right; my diet, my checkbook, my love life. I used to take tomorrow for granted. It will always be there, tomorrow. How could I have been so wrong?

All of my tomorrows changed May 15, 2004 with the passing of my kid sister. We had been through hell and back, her and I. Survivors, best friends, and sisters. We lived our lives in the best way we knew how. Thinking back there were days, memories now, we tried like hell to hold on to…that first kiss from a boy, Christmas mornings, birthdays…now only my secrets, my lies, and my truths remain. We can’t share “remember when” anymore. I wait for tomorrow uncertain of what awaits. Gone is that level of nervous excitement, replaced with the knowledge that all of my tomorrows are mirrored repeats of the days gone by since she passed.

How does a lifetime disappear in the flash of a moment? What were her last thoughts? Questions that can never be answered haunt me. We had just spoken at 5:40 p.m. the night before, how could she be dead? It just couldn’t be true. I awaken. It is still dark enough in my room that for a moment I am not sure I am alone. In my haze I call out, “Breny?” There will be no answer and that makes me sad. My pillow is wet from the tears I shed in my sleep. Quietly I slip out of bed and make my way into the darkness of the living room. Another night I don’t sleep. Sadness, tears, and memories keep me from sleeping.

She arrived February 6, 1967, and I was sure she belonged to me. How wonderful of my parents to have brought me a kid sister to play with! I don’t think I can remember a time when she wasn’t with me. I was the big sister. I took my job seriously. I taught her to read and write before she was in kindergarten. I protected her from school bullies. I taught her to ride a bike, climb trees, bake a cake, and play jacks.

She was the Ying to my Yang. We helped each other to survive childhood. We were more than sisters; we were friends. Breny used to say, “sisters by birth, friends by choice.” I often find myself wondering if she knows how much I miss her. I plod along, I try to find my way without her, and often I am afraid. My life will never be the same.

Tomorrow is her birthday...

[Fiona] Nothing to Say ?

I opened my blog tonight with the intention of writing a great masterpiece...but it is not to be. I have writers' block. I have neglected this site since Christmas Eve. I thought that something amusing or moving might happen and it would give me something to wax poetic over. Wrong.

Shrek and I have returned to work. There's nothing quite like work to dampen a good time. This could very well explain my loss for words. Shrek and I work for a major retailer. Every year after Christmas it gets very S-L-O-W at work. Plenty of clean the facility and other stupid earn-your-paycheck type crap jobs to do. It is my least favorite time of year. I yearn for Spring.

Well on the up and coming...at the end of February Shrek and I will be going to his annual gaming convention. He games with friends all weekend while I go shopping with my girlfriends. A perfect time for all. I am really looking forward to going this year.